During the years you were parenting and working, Tuesdays had a steady flow of obligations. Time refused to stand still. Once you reach the years of empty nesting and retirement there is more opportunity to design how you experience your life on a day to day basis.
Bec Wilson who wrote the book ‘How to have an Epic Retirement’ has recently posed the question – What does a good day in retirement look like for you? It’s an inspiring question that gets to the heart of what this stage of life is all about.
Lots of planning and preparation in retirement focuses on the long term vision. How much in savings we need in our superannuation accounts, the places we wish to travel, the ‘right’ sized home to live in as we age and how we deal with our health. While these are all important considerations its in the ‘small stuff’ of day to day retirement that truly matters.
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Each day presents us with the freedom to design it based on our interests and needs. Yet even though we have fewer work and family obligations, as humans, we still crave a sense of purpose, structure and connection with others. We’ve experienced that structure as workers and parents. Monday to Friday had its place as a work and school week with particular expectations and priorities. Weekends revolved around family, sport and jobs around the home.
In retirement we are not bound by what day of the week it is unless there is an activity or event we need to place on our calendar. We have choice around the obligations we accept. The lawn gets mowed when we have time, the housework fits in when it suits. One of the first things you might notice when you retire is a sudden forgetfulness of what day of the week it is. They all flow effortlessly into each other.
“Retirement isn’t a holiday. It’s a new kind of Tuesday. The better we get at designing those, the better this whole phase of life turns out to be”
Bec Wilson
If you are already retired from work you are experiencing this new kind of Tuesday. Take an opportunity to think about its structure. Do you have regular activities you enjoy or perhaps a special outing planned? What’s on your agenda for this coming Tuesday?
In our private Facebook group, Healing the Matriarch Community, I have recently posed this question. I also extended it to retirees I come across during the activities I enjoy in the week. Let me tell you they are a busy and active bunch. Tuesday for some is about doing an exercise they love – Zumba, Aqua Zumba, Yoga, Gardening, Walking … These opportunities often include an element of fun and connection. Coffee afterwards is a common addition. Tuesdays freed from obligation may also lead to special plans such as a day trip, bike ride or lunch gathering. Some retirees may spend their Tuesdays with grandchildren or elderly parents. Others are busy volunteering and supporting their communities.
If you are not yet retired from work, its useful to spend time daydreaming about what each day might look like. This allows you to prepare well and implement your newly designed week more effortlessly.
Bec Wilson suggests pondering the following questions in designing your days.
- What time do you wake up?
- What is your morning routine?
- Who do you spend the day with?
- When do you feel most energised?
- What does rest look like?
- What is one small joy that would make your day complete?
If you get to retirement and feel somewhat lost you are not alone. You are navigating a new phase of life, plenty of changes and that can feel unsettling. I remember days early in my own retirement where I would dread the boredom and monotony of what felt like a very long day. My husband was still working, so his hours were fully occupied during the day working from home. I needed to feel my own way and find a sense of purpose for this life stage. It involved going back to university and post graduate studies, planning trips and later extended time with my children and grandchildren. I needed to remember the things I enjoyed doing such as dance and yoga and make them a regularly scheduled commitment in my diary.
More recently it has been my love of writing and supporting the mental health and well being of both myself and other women that drives my purpose. I feel a sense of value and contribution in sharing what I’ve learnt along the way. It’s also allowed me to be the most authentic version of myself, something that brings me contentment and happiness.
Sometimes its easier to focus on the big picture of retirement. Yet it’s in designing each and every day to truly reflect who you are that allows you to experience the most satisfaction at this stage of life. There is definitely wonderful inspiration and good role models of living and aging well around us. We can be inspired by what they are doing. We can also hand pick the unique design features of our own new kind of Tuesday (or any other day of the week for that matter).
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