It’s important personally to make sound decisions about our own well-being. Making changes that will positively impact our lives. Usually when we make those decisions, we are not really focused on the impact, or ripple effect, they will have on others. The way they respond to our change can take us by surprise.
Part of helping ourselves navigate a change is believing our choices won’t greatly affect anyone else. We imagine those around us will just smoothly follow us through a change we’ve made or they will adjust easily. That’s not usually the case.
As Brad Stulberg writes in his book ‘Master of Change’ we are misunderstanding how change works. In life, we are always seeking order to help us maintain a relatively constant internal view of life. Yet change doesn’t bring us back to the way things were. It creates an altered state of existence. A new experience of what is ‘normal’. The process takes us from previous order through a time of disorder to a stage of reorder. Life is forever changed. Not only for ourselves but for those around us.
Photo by Alex Bertha on Unsplash
We forget that just as we are uncertain when we instigate a change, it creates a ripple effect of uncertainty for others. Everyone goes through a period of adjustment. It’s also an opportunity for others to make some changes for themselves.
That’s not such a bad thing as changes in life are frequent and normal. Some change is instigated by us, some comes unexpectedly through the changing circumstances of the world and people around us. We thrive on our routines and the normality of our personal ‘comfort zone’, yet a change instigated by someone else can bring us new opportunities, directions and ‘novelty’ which is another thing we humans thrive on.
Seeing the bigger picture of our ripple effect is important.
- Accepting and respecting how others respond to changes we instigate even if we don’t feel comfortable with the choices they then make.
- Checking in with others before making assumptions about their responses to the change. It’s easy to read too much into a situation and take things personally. This can impact the relationship going forward.
In the meantime, we can all practice self-care and love through a change. Remembering that how we feel about the situation right now will evolve over time. Our perspective will widen, and we’ll gain more clarity and understanding around the purpose of this change over time.