What makes a woman irresistible as she ages? The common belief is that older women become invisible in our western society. Yet what if the stereotype we believe of ourselves as older women can be turned on its head and we take instead the persona of the irresistible.
‘You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty and irresistible for the rest of your life’
Coco Chanel
To understand what qualities a woman can emulate, it is good to look at the meaning and similar words to that of ‘irresistible’. An irresistible woman is described as “too attractive and tempting to resist”. The attractiveness is more in her authentic inner glow than in the fleeting physical beauty of her youth. She is alluring, desirable, captivating, enchanting and fascinating.
What makes her irresistible in the eyes of others?
1. Her sense of knowing from a full life lived. She has a wealth of lived experience including the full spectrum of highs and lows. This has given her an intuitive wisdom and acceptance of what life is all about. Her knowledge is based on reality.
2. Her comfortability with who she is and all she has achieved so far in life. As an older woman she has experienced a variety of roles and situations. She has the maturity of an amazingly complex toolkit of life responses. This time of life allows her to reflect on her youthful days. The path she has taken and the joys and sorrows she has witnessed. Her physical allure is a different one. Her beauty comes from an inner radiance that prompts the love and admiration of others.
3. Her authenticity which radiates as a calm confidence. She has lived in her skin for a long time. She knows her preferences in clothes, interests, and people. This gives her the ability to interact with others in a genuine way and make informed choices around her needs. She knows what she wants from life and is more often capable of the means to achieve it.
4. Her mastery at the things that are her unique gifts. Older women have built upon skills over their lifetimes. At this stage of their lives they often have a mastery of particular skills and knowledge which can be valuable to pass onto others. As mentors and wise women they can take younger generations under their guidance. The evolutionary role of the grandmother to provide solid guidance on life skills for their grandchildren is a prime example.
5. Her myriad of stories to tell. Older women can be the keepers of memories for others. They have lived through a variety of eras and know that while some things change, others remain the same or return to us in a cyclical flow. Sharing stories and photos of previous parts of our lives can be fascinating to those who are younger. Others see us as we are today. Perhaps they also need to see that we were younger versions, just as they are, who enjoyed life in a variety of ways.
If you are a woman who is approaching or past the age of forty, take heart from the words of Coco Chanel. Know that your youthful attractiveness can give way to a more mature allure. An allure based on more inner qualities and life mastery.
Use the middle part of your life to reflect on what has been. What you have experienced and learnt in life. Assess the woman you have become with gratitude. Take time to explore your desires for the future. This reflection may require journal writing or looking through memories and photos. Know, with confidence, that your allure as an older, irresistible woman can continue throughout the remainder of your life.