During our working and parenting days life typically ran to a tight and busy schedule. Once this framework of commitments falls away many of us continue to crave the contentment of a steady, replacement schedule. Our diaries and phone calendars fill with catch ups with friends, appointments, fitness or creative activities, trips away and jobs around our homes. Although it can feel more fluid, having a schedule in later life remains just as important for our well-being.
Lately I’ve felt the need to speak from my heart about the topic of punctuality. I have a wonderful activity that I both benefit greatly from and enjoy connecting with the other participants. The angst I’m having is with the lateness of the commencement of classes. I would be fine with it if it was a one off situation, due to an unforeseen emergency. That would be understandable. Unfortunately in this case it has become problematic.
Why is it important to be on time?
Punctuality impacts everyone’s day
In some sense we all create a schedule for our days. Taking time and energy, even if it’s only just in our mind, to ensure that our activities flow and are achievable. When we have a framework it helps us get the most out of our time.
Our planning takes into account more than the actual time for the activity. Other circumstances need to be considered – such as what we wear, what we take with us, and our travel time to its location. Preparation is key to arriving well in time for the commencement of an activity. Time for set up, catching our own thoughts and moving to a sense of calm and readiness. Greeting each other and feeling present and ready to start. Commencing on time also allows participants to relax, enjoy and fully benefit from the activity.
When activities begin late it impacts both our personal experience and also that of others. If the day starts with an adjustment of our schedule it seems to continue through the day. Time wasted due to lateness can mushroom out to create a wider impact.
‘A single lateness can truly have a domino effect on others’ schedules and the people with which they interact’
Rashelle Isip (The Order Expert’s Guide to Time Management)
Tip: Always put in a ‘time cushion’ in case of unforeseen delays. Look to arrive at least five minutes before the planned commencement if you are a participant. Even earlier if you are leading an activity.
It shows respect for others’ time
Each participant in an activity is important. When punctuality is an issue those who arrive on time become disadvantaged rather than respected. They are left waiting around for others to arrive and in the process can become increasingly frustrated and annoyed. For those who rely heavily on an ordered routine, perhaps due to autism or a developmental delay, it can be particularly challenging to process.
When someone is late it communicates a lot. It tells others that they think their time and what they do with it is more important. Inadvertently saying to others ‘I don’t care about you or your schedule’. It can also show others their unreliability and disorganization. Not a particularly good reputation to foster.
People may be reluctant to voice their irritation but the consequence may be to create distance from the person or withdraw from the activity altogether. Both solutions are unhelpful for sustaining positive connection and the benefits from participating. At least an apology for tardiness shows a sense of awareness of the issue. It’s more important to repair and focus on creating a habit of consistent punctuality in the future.
Being on time shows a level of care towards those attending and wishing not to inconvenience them. It also increases the level of trust between people and helps establish a reputation for being a person others can rely on.
Tip: Create a habit of being more conscious of time. Take regular glances at the clock to ensure you are flowing efficiently from one activity to another. Working backwards from a commencement time to realistically gauge how long ‘getting ready and getting there’ will take is a good strategy. Use all the technology available to plan time and distance.
It impacts our mood
When you are always rushing from A to B your ability to make decisions and be present in the moment suffers. Being late can be stressful. Making you less focused and more prone to distraction and mistakes. Giving yourself ample time to arrive at an activity helps you to feel calm and composed. Prepared and ready to both enjoy and gain the activity’s benefits. For those around you punctuality helps create harmonious relationships. Everyone enjoys and gets the most out of what is planned and delivered.
Tip: Make life calmer by being well prepared. Have all you need to take with you accessible and together. Knowing where everything you need is helps to avoid stressful, quick exits from home to activities.
The etiquette rule of being on time remains a valuable one. It benefits not only ourselves but also those around us. It allows us to plan our days effectively and to show respect for the time and presence of others.
When lateness becomes an issue it can cause tension and angst between us. For those who are habitually late it creates an unenviable reputation. One which may not be voiced to them but shows up as distancing and disconnection.
