Children have grown up and emptied the nest.. tick, both your partner and yourself have retired from paid employment…. tick, now you can decide whether the home you have been living in as a family is fit for purpose going forward. Often once the family downsizes to one or two individuals a stand-alone home can seem sprawling and much of its space remains unused. What options may be available for couples or singles at this stage of their life?

Here are some possible alternatives: –

• Stay in your family home and age in place
• Move in with adult children or have them move in with you
• Downsize into a villa or apartment
• Move into a retirement or lifestyle village for over 55’s
• Live in a mobile home e.g. a caravan or motor home

A novel approach is to combine a selection of the options above, giving the flexibility to experience a variety of living arrangements over time. Let’s check out the possibilities of each option.

Stay in your family home

Before deciding to sell up and move to a new location, it is worth considering if it is possible to age in place. The benefit of staying in your family home is the familiarity of your surroundings, your neighbourhood and local community. If at a later stage additional assistance is required, outside help can be sourced. This may be for cooking, cleaning, and gardening. You get the benefit of staying in your home with the perks of maintenance outsourced.

If the home is older or has stairs and narrow hallways to navigate it may be worth considering a change. Maintenance costs can increase in older homes and personal needs may change requiring more open spaces. If funds are available, renovation is possible. This can be a costly exercise depending on what is required. Try to think ahead to possible future scenarios if this option is favored.

Inter-generational Living

As life stages progress a possible solution for additional support is moving in with adult children. Alternatively, they can move back into the family home. This option requires some conscious planning and discussion particularly around privacy and expectations of physical and financial contribution. Generations living within the same property can be a cost-effective option for managing financially and convenient assistance with care. An alternative to consider if you get on well with your children, their partners and enjoy the company and energy level of your grandchildren.

Downsizing

This option works well if you can find a location that ticks the boxes of convenience, facilities, and a certain level of space. When you have been living in a large home, an apartment or villa may feel cramped and perhaps a bit claustrophobic. Look for good common spaces such as pools, gyms and roof top or interior gardens. Consider if the surrounding area offers what you need. Proximity to shopping, entertainment and public transport is a factor. A suggestion is to ‘try before you buy’ if other apartments or villas in the complex are available for holiday letting. You will soon get an idea of space, noise, and functionality.

Lifestyle or Retirement Villages

This has become a popular choice in recent times. Specifically catering for the Over 55 market, these smaller home villages provide low maintenance living. Common facilities are usually well resourced, gardens are often maintained and they are usually pet friendly. A positive aspect of this option is the sense of connection and social activities available within these communities. Interest groups, outings and events make these an enjoyable and busy place to live.

This option may not suit those who value their privacy. While it is enjoyable to live among people of a similar stage of life, over time the population of the village ages. A further move to a nursing home may need to be considered in future if it is not available on site. With the age of residents, talk of ailments and illness can be common topics of conversation. If this option is chosen, it may be prudent to keep ties with the wider community through activities and events. It continues to be healthy to interact with families and children.

Live in a Mobile Home

Caravans, motor homes and even houseboats are enjoyable considerations for retirement living. The flexibility of location is enticing. Here in Australia it is common to see these mobile versions of ‘home’ travelling around the country. Their occupants are coined ‘Grey Nomads’. In addition, this lifestyle is cost effective and simple, allowing for a relaxed lifestyle. Some locations in Australia allow for free camping and long or short-term residency in idyllic locations allows for free spirited exploration of the country. There are always interesting people to meet along the way.

Like any form of housing there is inevitably maintenance or damage issues that arise. As a vehicle they also won’t hold their monetary value over time. This is more likely with brick and mortar options.

Combining Options

A novel and interesting approach is to combine more than one of the above options. This can evolve over time as needs and finances change. In our case we rented out our private home while we travelled extensively in our motor home. We have retained our motor home on our return and it now provides an income for us as a rental to others. Another ‘try before you buy’ option. Camplify is a wonderful Australian organisation for this option.

Recently we have used the finances from an investment property to buy an apartment as a base closer to our children, their partners, and our grandchildren. We hope this gives us the best of both worlds – spending some of the year close to family and other times enjoying our hometown community. It helps that both locations offer different climates and options to explore. Like the ‘snowbirds’ of the United States we will be following the weather.

The retirement years are an opportunity to reassess our living arrangements. We have the opportunity to remain in place transitioning through modifications and care and maintenance plans. Alternatively, we can look at changing location either temporarily or permanently to make the most of what this stage of life has to offer. Most options provide the opportunity to try before you buy. Share your thoughts on what you would choose, or have chosen, in the comments.

Today heralds the winter solstice in the southern hemisphere. A time when our part of the earth is tilted furthest away from the energy and warmth of the sun. Over the last month we have noticed shorter days and earlier sunsets but after the solstice the days will gradually lengthen again.

Winter solstice has been observed for thousands of years, for as long as our ancestors have marked time using the heavens. With the gentle tilt of the earth, winter solstice is the time of year when the sun travels her shortest path across the sky. This annual phenomenon has been observed by many different cultures who have celebrated and marked this time with festival and ritual.

Although this day is short it gives an opportunity to reflect deeply on life. A time to honour and release the past year and plant seeds of intention for the months and year ahead. Personally, it could not have happened at a better time for me, as it foreshadows a time of transition in my life.

The Winter Solstice is the time of ending and beginning, a powerful time – a time to contemplate your immortality. A time to forgive, to be forgiven and to make a fresh start. A time to awaken.

Frederick Lenz

Today I took some time to attend an online women’s circle honouring the solstice. Women’s circles today are a modern adaption of the ancient tradition of tribal women gathering to support each other. The beauty of circle is the opportunity to nurture, share stories and inspire the creativity that exists within each of us. Often these elements are missing from our daily lives. We can become busy and disconnected from the support and nurturing from other women.

Circle often involves meaningful ritual to welcome those who gather and to honour their presence. Rituals also help each woman focus on the intention of gathering. As women’s circle is relatively new to me, I valued the guidance of a trained facilitator – Anita Houlihan, Brisbane Women’s Circles.

During our two hours together we …

Reflected on the past year and all the lessons learnt from life experience. This was done with a guided meditation followed by journal writing. We each lit three candles to represent illuminating the pathway of our journey as we traverse the winter months.

Released the things that no longer served us. Using a piece of paper and pen we were asked to write down all those things we wished to leave from the previous year. The pieces of paper were then placed in a bowl and burnt. I was surprised how powerful and moving this ritual was for releasing old patterns, thoughts, and behaviours.

Transformed with the planting of new intentions for the year ahead. It was time to open our journals and ponder the answers to the following questions. What seeds of renewal need to be planted and nurtured over the coming year? Who do we want to become? What steps do we need to take to nurture the growth of these new ideas, actions, and identities? Sharing our intentions with others was a powerful step in acknowledging change.

While these activities may be done on our own, the power of connecting with other like-minded women within circle amplified the experience. A beautiful connection of respectful conversation emerged. One of deeply listening to others and feeling respectfully heard.

Women in the later part of their lives are in the perfect position to rediscover themselves and find opportunities for growth and reinvention. For them, it is a time for sharing their wisdom. It is also a time for reflection and renewal. May this time of the winter solstice be one where you reflect on your journey, release what no longer serves you and begin to transform your life.

As the new decade dawned at the beginning of this year it was filled with promise. Turning over a new page of life and hope for the future. What has transpired has been decidedly different. It has been six months of real change and upheaval in the world.

While these events were unexpected, they highlighted our ability to adapt. One thing we can guarantee in life is that we live in a state of constant change. It is an inevitable part of our humanness that helps us build courage and resilience.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change”

Albert Einstein

Each day marks an invitation to begin anew. To make sense of the world around us and our part in its existence. When we open our eyes, our senses are bombarded with life.  Our minds quickly switch on to the daily tasks, concerns and planning of the day. Its easy to get distracted by the latest news feed or the multiple calls on our attention, whether it be other people or the objects of our lives. It can feel like we have stepped into a flowing river and are carried along over the riverbed, rocks, and debris. We might catch a brief pause as we hit a stagnant patch and rest, but eventually the constant flow catches us once more.

Most people go through life adjusting to the uncertain dynamics that act on them. The signs of anxiety, depression and helplessness may be our inner voice recognizing dissatisfaction with our current situation. Outwardly it can be observed in the body as lethargy and inaction. Once we are in this mindset it is a difficult one to shift. Only through summoning the strength to act in a situation that no longer serves us can we begin the process of change.

What are some of the attitudes required to take this journey? :-

Being resourceful. Our ancestors have given us many of examples of how they were resourceful with changing circumstances. Many times, they overcame obstacles by bouncing back and finding new ways to navigate life. We hold the resilience of our ancestors within us and we can honour that by showing up as best we can. Imperfect action is better than no action at all.

Being compassionate.  Life will continue to give us both small and large changes of circumstances to deal with. We can be aware of our responses and give ourselves compassion when these changes are unwelcome. Part of who we are is living through the struggles presented to us in our lives. Practicing with the small changes helps build strategies for when the bigger challenges come along.

Being adaptable. Sometimes major shifts happen to us and we are forced to adapt quickly. In our everyday lives we can look at our ability to go with the flow as small changes happen. Living with acceptance rather than resistance to improve our life balance.

Being intuitive. Often, we have a sense when we need to change. Begin by asking for guidance. It might be through prayer, journaling or expressing our thoughts in conversation with others. Listen for an inner ‘gut’ reaction to how you feel about the planned change. Does it give you a sense of excitement or anticipation? Or perhaps it is one of mild panic or inertia.

Being conscious of the effect of decisions on others. Check the integrity of the change by speaking with those people who are either directly impacted or who you can trust. Are there concerns or negative reactions from them? If so, are they based on fear or a dependency on you? Can these concerns be addressed?

Being open to change. It is important to acknowledge that there is a risk in changing direction as this is an important crossroad. It is not possible to eliminate all risk and if we attempt to do so it can lead to paralysis of action. Move forward methodically and take the actions that support your choices along the way. Once you begin, let go of the outcome. See each step of the journey as embarking on a new adventure. You never know what surprising detours may happen along the way.

The hardest work comes in getting to the decision. Once you have an end goal in mind it is as if invisible tracks spread out before you. Opportunities arise with some ease and solutions become apparent.