I have always enjoyed dancing. As a little girl I took up the different styles at my local dance school. Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Scottish, Irish, and Dutch. At that age it was a great opportunity to use up my excess energy from sitting at a school desk most of the day.  It also gave tone and grace to my body and allowed my creative right brain to imagine a multitude of scenarios and identities as I moved to the music. I continued until my later school years, at sixteen replacing dance with studying for school certificates and preparation for university entrance. It was a lovely time of dance concerts, sparkly costumes, and competitions. During my childhood, dance provided for me a broad range of skill development – physical, mental, social, and emotional.

Once I left school, dance went on the back burner. Life took its place and other pursuits were discovered. I moved into the teaching profession alongside the constant demands of motherhood. It was not until my mid-fifties arrived that my passion for dance resurfaced. My favourite style became Zumba – a combination of Latin American and Indian Bollywood steps to lively music. This form of exercise allows for a freedom of movement and expression that reached to my core. It also has become a wonderful arena for social interaction, particularly with other women. While we dance we imagine ourselves atop a Carnivale float or in a Latin Dance Studio in South America or on the streets of India moving in unison to the rhythms of Bollywood.

A multitude of benefits are present, particularly now I had reached my ‘wisdom years’ – those years after active engagement with the busyness of life. As I began regularly attending classes I felt fitter and happier than I had in a long time. I was not truly aware of the transformation, yet I knew there was a motivation and energy to continually engage in this fun form of exercise.

” Dance is the hidden language of the soul”

Martha Graham

Zvi Lanir (PhD) in his book ‘The Wisdom Years – Unleashing your Potential in Later Life’ highlights dance for the numerous benefits it brings to us in the years between retirement and old age. Men and women are living longer in the 21^st Century and a window of years have been identified where people remain physically active and open to conscious and mindful reinvention.

The obvious physical benefits of dance are the ability to achieve an enjoyable cardiovascular workout. As the body moves, the oxygen surging through the blood stream positively enhances both the body and brain as they work in synergy. While we may need to modify steps as they are learnt or when our energy is depleted, the continued benefits of regular exercise can improve our well-being. Dance also improves our flexibility and can prevent balance problems and falls.

I’ve also discovered dance is a ‘super food’ for our brain. It has been identified as the one form of exercise that builds agility in all three regions – the right and left hemisphere and the rear lobe of automated and sensory functions. When you dance the left lobe allows you to follow the instructor’s directions. Your right lobe allows you to creatively express as you dance, infusing your emotions and imagination as you move. The rear lobe allows you to instinctively remember the dance step sequences so you can seamlessly integrate each of the brain hemispheres.

Social benefits of dance are profound. The obvious enjoyment of moving as a group fosters both connection and interaction between participants. Our particular Zumba class has an age range from young professional women and mothers to active women in their sixties. The older women provide the younger ones with beautiful role models of feminine energy that can endure throughout the decades. Women can also become each others’ support systems for life’s challenges, both inside and outside the Zumba class.

The benefits of dance for well being are numerous. Particularly as we age it becomes a wonderful choice of exercise to enhance life and build social connections. If you have not tried dance for a while, or at all in your life, consider taking it up as a form of exercise. No one is concerned with making the perfect moves and you have the opportunity to get fit without really noticing the effort.

The concept of perfect timing has its wisdom and pitfalls. In life we recognize the years around our twenties as crucial for commencing a career, marrying, and having children. There is societal expectation to leave the security of our childhood and head independently into the world. We desire finding someone to share our life with and perhaps settle down and start a family. As humans, we are biologically at our peak at this time to cross these milestones off our list. Yet the actual timing of these events in our own lives may be quite different from the norm.

Creating perfect timing continues to play a part later in our lives. As we come to our 50’s and 60’s we are faced with the question of when to retire from paid work. Do we travel and explore the world? Is it perhaps time to take the opportunity to downsize into a smaller home or move location when our families reduce in size?

It is often with hindsight that we learn more about whether our timing in life was perfect. Parenthood is a prime example and rarely goes according to our desired plans. The reality of starting early in life with a brood of children may be perfect for one couple yet viewed with regret by another. Looking back on life these couples, or perhaps one partner in particular, may feel they needed further time prior to parenthood and regret opportunities they feel they missed. For other couples, the journey to parenthood takes longer.  When it becomes a reality, it can be met with a long-anticipated sense of joy and personal fulfillment. Alternatively, it can come as a shock and be viewed with trepidation around parenting at an older age.

“Life is a lively process of becoming”.

Douglas MacArthur

With careers, some people find a vocation early in life and see a pathway ahead that opens with opportunities. They stay in the same workplace or profession their entire work life. Others are uncertain what occupation they are attracted to and may oscillate between workplaces and areas of interest in search of what they feel is meaningful work. It is not unusual for people to have various professions across their work life. Some may be due to redundancies and other issues outside their control. At other times it is a dissatisfaction with their current situation and career choice that motivates a change.

The longer the viewpoint we have of our lives the more we have the opportunity to see the patterns of its timing. We can look back at times when we danced between action and inaction. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to change our life circumstances when things were not quite aligned. In retrospect we sometimes see the missed opportunity, the ‘one that got away’ because we lacked the courage to act by procrastinating. At other times we see the wisdom of a missed opportunity where initially we may have been upset and disappointed. Later we find either a better alternative emerges or our lives take a different direction and the original opportunity shows us it was unsuitable.

Ideal circumstances don’t necessarily need to be in place for perfect timing. It is often at the painful times or moments of crisis in our lives that we are motivated to make substantial change. Depending on the circumstance it can be a time of learning the greatest life lessons about ourselves and others. It can also be a time of gaining clarity around what is most important to us in our lives. Without these moments of growth, we may continue to stagnate in life, not truly stepping into creating a life that we enjoy living.

For me, it has taken a reckoning of my own life to achieve what feels like perfect timing. I enjoyed both my career as a teacher and my role as a mother. Beyond the active energy of these roles, I now see a true sense of personal independence and wisdom gathering emerging. It took time and inner reflection for me to step boldly into this phase of my life, but I love it.

Social isolation during the current pandemic provided the catalyst for bringing my perfect timing and life lessons together. My desire is to encourage other women to create their own unique paths in life and emerge confidently into their Wise Woman and Matriarch identities. 

How will you spend your 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and even perhaps your 90’s. If you believe the rhetoric about aging you will presume your life is over once you turn 50. Yet the research does not support this. There are amazing examples to inspire us into action for a happier and healthier aging journey.

Living longer is a relatively new phenomenon. When we look at photographs of people in previous generations, they look much older than their modern-day counterparts. One of the benefits of current times is the medical advances in preventing and treating ailments that would previously have led to our demise.  With the prolific nature of online information, we have more knowledge about remaining active and nurturing our well being. We have more information and access to healthy dietary choices. We believe in the adage ‘use it or lose it’ for both our physical and mental abilities.

The notion of ‘being old’ is a mental perception. If our focus is on negative beliefs such as boredom, failing health, lack of purpose and inactivity; we soon become what we think. Unfortunately, we live in a world that tends to idolize beauty and youth. This makes it difficult for people approaching middle age to accept and embrace the idea of getting older.

Turning 50 may be a watershed moment in time when a lot of people try to ‘stay young’, to do things the way they did before, to follow the same goals, to live with the same values based on the worship of youth. Alternatively, 50 can herald a new stage of life which needs to be explored and redefined. We are among the first of a generation with increased longevity. We are breaking new ground on what it means to get older. 50 may only be the midpoint of your life.

Studies dispute the negative conditioning we have toward aging.  Two distinct age groups score highest on levels of happiness. The first is those in their early twenties who tend to overestimate the possibilities of their future. They believe the world is their oyster and they are invincible. Yet life experiences and responsibilities that follow tend to dampen the over enthusiasm of this age.

It is not until the late sixties that another peak in happiness occurs. This time the elevated score is based on a more realistic assessment of life. A gratitude and acceptance of our lived experience; appreciating the wisdom gained and lessons learnt. It can also be a time when, no longer held down by responsibilities of work and family, people hit their stride. They remember passions and interests they now have time to enjoy. Thankfully, this elevated level of happiness is maintained until well into old age.

A good self esteem is based on accepting the life stage you are inhabiting. Yes, we are still the older generations that inhabit this world. Our images and role models need to be encouraging, inspiring and heart-warming. Younger generations want to know that life can be lived fully through all decades. Russian journalist and photographer Vladimir Yakovlev developed the international ‘Age of Happiness Project’ to highlight examples of finding new interests and purpose in later life. He told stories and photographed older people pursuing their passions, many of them physically demanding. The 78-year-old skate boarder who took up skateboarding for the first time at 65, the 72 year old DJ and the 102 year old cyclist are just a few of the inspiring examples.

Psychologist Eric Erickson identified the late adult stage of life as a time of personal reflection. People can either look back on their life with integrity if well lived, or with despair if they focus on their failures. The following questions can inform our reflection: –

• Have we lived life to the full, retaining good physical fitness for as long as possible?
• Have we accepted life for what it is, enjoying the ‘ordinary’ everyday experiences, rather than longing for an alternate reality?
• Have we contributed to the wider community beyond ourselves?
• Have we continually expanded our mental and physical horizons?
• Have we found a deeper meaning and purpose that leaves a legacy beyond our physical existence?

The years beyond our 50^th birthday will continue to inform our perception of life. If we see this time as valuable and one to embrace, there is an opportunity to continue to lead a life well lived.