Healing the Matriarch

Women journeying through life

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Thriving through the Pandemic

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The Corona Virus pandemic that is currently challenging the world has led to accelerated change and unsettled lives. We can look at this period from a negative viewpoint or see it as an opportunity to really look deeply at the way we live and the life lessons we are learning. Could it be possible that amid the pandemic we are learning the skills to thrive and help our personal growth.

Thriving is the ability to prosper, flourish and develop well. We can progress toward and realize a goal despite or because of particular life circumstances. With this in mind flourishing does not require life to be easy. It is often the case that we learn most through experiencing adversity. The trying circumstances, such as those we have now, highlight areas that are important to us or those we wish to change.

Photo by “My Life Through A Lens” on Unsplash

The pandemic has asked us to reach into a deeper well of understanding about ourselves than we previously realized. Daily we have been challenged by changing circumstances in regard to work, education, and community life. Just when we feel our vigilance decline, more cases are identified and need to be dealt with. We are learning to adjust to these stressors and to develop inner strength and resourcefulness. The social distancing and hygiene measures instigated previously feel like normal adjustments to our daily lives. When we are faced with challenging circumstances, we have become braver.

This time has also given us an opportunity to focus on our wellbeing.  It has become a priority to gently instigate strategies to keep ourselves safe and healthy. This may include honouring our energy levels with rest when we need it and adequate sleep. We are delving into our cookbooks and with the added time in isolation nourished our bodies. Meals and family time have become a focal point of our day. It has also been a time to honour ourselves emotionally. When situations have felt beyond our control it has been important to allow ourselves to cry or grieve changed circumstances. In that sense rather than bravery, it is a softness and acceptance that has been required.

How we perceive world events is also important. So much of media attention has focused on the frightening nature of the virus and the repercussions to our lives. It is important to counterbalance this with a reality check of what things are still o.k. Family Psychotherapist, Susan Stiffelman, suggests a daily exercise to focus on ‘Five things that went well today’ to promote a balanced life view.

In this troubled time, we are seeing what is important in our lives. Our neighbourhoods and communities have been places for us to actively reach out and support each other on a deeper level. Whether through making sure people have the physical requirements they need or offering a listening ear to offload concerns. Our once busier lives, on pause, have allowed compassion and empathy for others to arise. We are remembering and practicing ‘We are so much better together’. The hope is that this community cohesion continues beyond the pandemic.

“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance”

Pablo Casals

Families that had been busy and disconnected from each other, realized the importance of contact and hugs. Grandparents missed grandchildren. Generations supported each other through the challenges. We missed our friends and the activities we shared together. What we had taken for granted took on a new deliciousness as we desired what was currently unavailable.

For some, the changing work or life circumstances have been an opportunity to incubate new projects. With lock downs and more opportunity to reflect, dreams of new directions in life can take shape. It may be in the form of a new business, a creative pursuit, or even a change of address. With this new lens on life we are given an opportunity to manifest new possibilities.

Living through this pandemic has shown us how precious and fragile life is. For many it has prompted the desire to live more fully and without regret. This period of adversity may have a ‘silver lining’. A conscious opportunity to evaluate and choose what is important in our lives. A possibility to thrive.

Nurturing Seeds of Intention

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“A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step”.

Lao Tzu

At certain times in our lives we are motivated to reflect. Sometimes this coincides with a specific timing – the beginning of a new year or seasonal change. It may also be triggered by a life event such as an important birthday, birth of a child or the last child leaving home. It may be none of those things except for a general feeling of discontent with the way we live our daily lives. This last incentive for change may have been slowly creeping upon us without notice, yet there is a point where it can no longer be ignored.

At these pivotal times we may be seeking new skills, attitudes, or behaviours to those we know. There is motivation to plant ‘seeds’ of new intentions. It can be a time of reading more and seeking advice from others. We are inspired to meditate or journal more regularly. We feel frustration with a habit we wish to change for our general well being. The thirst comes from feeling discomfort with our current situation, one we seek to change.

What is intention?

Intention is a mental state where we make a commitment to a goal or plan. It begins with thinking through an idea first, then taking action to make the intentional changes a reality. Often, we spend too long ruminating and baulk at putting our new actions into practice. We are creatures of habit, so our default is to revert to attitudes and behaviours we know. For example, we might set a goal of eating more healthy food only to find that we quickly break the habit by reaching for the biscuits or chocolate in the pantry. We may want to spend more time with family or friends but find life gets busy and we discover that time has passed, and opportunities have been lost.

Why is it important to focus on our intentions?

When we are consciously aware of wanting to make changes, then focus on our new habits, over time the change becomes automatic. It takes motivation to begin and then maintain a new behaviour. Take small, realistic steps each day toward the goal. Redirect yourself with new resolve when you revert to old ways and keep focused on what you hope to achieve. Keeping a visual reminder of your intentions such as a calendar to mark off, a vision board of images or list of words that represent your ‘future self’ are powerful motivators. The change you see in yourself, rather than any external reward, is one you will be proud of. It is the healthier body, the calmer mind or the deeper relationship that is the true reward.

Like planting a seed, setting an intention requires fertile soil as a foundation. This comes in the form of mentally identifying what you wish to change and having a plan of action in mind. If you wish to change a behaviour there is a framework of how this can be achieved. Commitment and accountability, perhaps by telling others your intention, help set the path for momentum.

Water and sunlight provide the energy to grow the intention. Taking the first step of action to change is crucial. We also require the patience and perseverance to wait for our intentions to materialize and to overcome setbacks. Just like a seed if we plant intentionally and continually put in the effort of fostering growth we are rewarded with the fruits of our time and energy.

“Patience without action leads to a passive life. Patience with perseverance leads to us fulfilling our goals.”

Ikigai Journey – Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles

Your intention may be to experience something new or to learn a new skill. It may be developing a more confident, optimistic, or independent attitude. Perhaps it is developing a regular practice for physical or mental well being. Whatever it is, I wish you well. Take meaningful action and stay focused as you watch your intention grow into a reality.

Welcoming Winter Solstice

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Today heralds the winter solstice in the southern hemisphere. A time when our part of the earth is tilted furthest away from the energy and warmth of the sun. Over the last month we have noticed shorter days and earlier sunsets but after the solstice the days will gradually lengthen again.

Winter solstice has been observed for thousands of years, for as long as our ancestors have marked time using the heavens. With the gentle tilt of the earth, winter solstice is the time of year when the sun travels her shortest path across the sky. This annual phenomenon has been observed by many different cultures who have celebrated and marked this time with festival and ritual.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Although this day is short it gives an opportunity to reflect deeply on life. A time to honour and release the past year and plant seeds of intention for the months and year ahead. Personally, it could not have happened at a better time for me, as it foreshadows a time of transition in my life.

The Winter Solstice is the time of ending and beginning, a powerful time – a time to contemplate your immortality. A time to forgive, to be forgiven and to make a fresh start. A time to awaken.

Frederick Lenz

Today I took some time to attend an online women’s circle honouring the solstice. Women’s circles today are a modern adaption of the ancient tradition of tribal women gathering to support each other. The beauty of circle is the opportunity to nurture, share stories and inspire the creativity that exists within each of us. Often these elements are missing from our daily lives. We can become busy and disconnected from the support and nurturing from other women.

Circle often involves meaningful ritual to welcome those who gather and to honour their presence. Rituals also help each woman focus on the intention of gathering. As women’s circle is relatively new to me, I valued the guidance of a trained facilitator – Anita Houlihan, Brisbane Women’s Circles.

During our two hours together we …

Reflected on the past year and all the lessons learnt from life experience. This was done with a guided meditation followed by journal writing. We each lit three candles to represent illuminating the pathway of our journey as we traverse the winter months.

Released the things that no longer served us. Using a piece of paper and pen we were asked to write down all those things we wished to leave from the previous year. The pieces of paper were then placed in a bowl and burnt. I was surprised how powerful and moving this ritual was for releasing old patterns, thoughts, and behaviours.

Transformed with the planting of new intentions for the year ahead. It was time to open our journals and ponder the answers to the following questions. What seeds of renewal need to be planted and nurtured over the coming year? Who do we want to become? What steps do we need to take to nurture the growth of these new ideas, actions, and identities? Sharing our intentions with others was a powerful step in acknowledging change.

While these activities may be done on our own, the power of connecting with other like-minded women within circle amplified the experience. A beautiful connection of respectful conversation emerged. One of deeply listening to others and feeling respectfully heard.

Women in the later part of their lives are in the perfect position to rediscover themselves and find opportunities for growth and reinvention. For them, it is a time for sharing their wisdom. It is also a time for reflection and renewal. May this time of the winter solstice be one where you reflect on your journey, release what no longer serves you and begin to transform your life.

Taking the Journey to Change

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As the new decade dawned at the beginning of this year it was filled with promise. Turning over a new page of life and hope for the future. What has transpired has been decidedly different. It has been six months of real change and upheaval in the world.

While these events were unexpected, they highlighted our ability to adapt. One thing we can guarantee in life is that we live in a state of constant change. It is an inevitable part of our humanness that helps us build courage and resilience.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change”

Albert Einstein

Each day marks an invitation to begin anew. To make sense of the world around us and our part in its existence. When we open our eyes, our senses are bombarded with life.  Our minds quickly switch on to the daily tasks, concerns and planning of the day. Its easy to get distracted by the latest news feed or the multiple calls on our attention, whether it be other people or the objects of our lives. It can feel like we have stepped into a flowing river and are carried along over the riverbed, rocks, and debris. We might catch a brief pause as we hit a stagnant patch and rest, but eventually the constant flow catches us once more.

Photo by Angus Gray on Unsplash

Most people go through life adjusting to the uncertain dynamics that act on them. The signs of anxiety, depression and helplessness may be our inner voice recognizing dissatisfaction with our current situation. Outwardly it can be observed in the body as lethargy and inaction. Once we are in this mindset it is a difficult one to shift. Only through summoning the strength to act in a situation that no longer serves us can we begin the process of change.

What are some of the attitudes required to take this journey? :-

Being resourceful. Our ancestors have given us many of examples of how they were resourceful with changing circumstances. Many times, they overcame obstacles by bouncing back and finding new ways to navigate life. We hold the resilience of our ancestors within us and we can honour that by showing up as best we can. Imperfect action is better than no action at all.

Being compassionate.  Life will continue to give us both small and large changes of circumstances to deal with. We can be aware of our responses and give ourselves compassion when these changes are unwelcome. Part of who we are is living through the struggles presented to us in our lives. Practicing with the small changes helps build strategies for when the bigger challenges come along.

Being adaptable. Sometimes major shifts happen to us and we are forced to adapt quickly. In our everyday lives we can look at our ability to go with the flow as small changes happen. Living with acceptance rather than resistance to improve our life balance.

Being intuitive. Often, we have a sense when we need to change. Begin by asking for guidance. It might be through prayer, journaling or expressing our thoughts in conversation with others. Listen for an inner ‘gut’ reaction to how you feel about the planned change. Does it give you a sense of excitement or anticipation? Or perhaps it is one of mild panic or inertia.

Being conscious of the effect of decisions on others. Check the integrity of the change by speaking with those people who are either directly impacted or who you can trust. Are there concerns or negative reactions from them? If so, are they based on fear or a dependency on you? Can these concerns be addressed?

Being open to change. It is important to acknowledge that there is a risk in changing direction as this is an important crossroad. It is not possible to eliminate all risk and if we attempt to do so it can lead to paralysis of action. Move forward methodically and take the actions that support your choices along the way. Once you begin, let go of the outcome. See each step of the journey as embarking on a new adventure. You never know what surprising detours may happen along the way.

The hardest work comes in getting to the decision. Once you have an end goal in mind it is as if invisible tracks spread out before you. Opportunities arise with some ease and solutions become apparent.

April 2026
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