Whether it’s a eulogy, memoir, biography or journal entry; writing has a powerful way of capturing someone’s life. It is from the perspective of the writer, either about themselves or others, and chronicles both thoughts and emotions. There is power in telling out story.
Imagine if you had the opportunity to pen your own eulogy while you were still alive? This was the case with my mother in law. After a relatively short cancer journey she recently passed away. During her illness, prompted by a series of questions posed by our niece, she took the opportunity to write down memories of her life. At times it was in the form of amusing stories and her unique viewpoint on life. She fondly recalled dates, events, places and people.
We didn’t discover the handwritten papers until after her death yet we found among her words the makings of her life story/eulogy. What a wonderful gift she gave us at an emotionally distressing time. From her initial words we were easily able to piece together a fitting tribute to her life.
The Elements of a Eulogy
In the movie ‘The Last Word’ (2017) controlling, retired businesswoman Harriet (Shirley MacLaine) employs a young obituary writer Anne (Amanda Seyfried) to pen a fitting tribute to her life before she dies. She scours through examples of Anne’s work identifying four essential eulogy components.
1. The deceased should be loved by their family.
2. The deceased is admired by their work colleagues
3. The deceased has contributed a unique gift to the world.
4. The deceased must have particularly touched someone’s life.
Harriet discovers she falls miserably short on all four accounts and resolves to reshape her past by creating a new legacy. In the process she mends family fractures, mentors a young girl and pursues a job she excels at as a disc jockey. Anne and Harriet emerge with a life altering connection and a beautiful, simple eulogy Anne delivers at Harriet’s funeral.
It is never too late. While we are alive, we can continue to write and rewrite our lives. To start afresh, to make amends with relationships that have turned sour, to learn from our mistakes and leave a lasting legacy. Each day brings an opportunity to positively influence those around us and make valuable contributions to the world. Sharing our time, abilities and love.
“Fall on your face. Fail. Fail spectacularly. Because when you fail, you learn. When you fail you live.”
Harriet’s words of wisdom to Anne.
The Writing Practice.
Cultivating a consistent practice of writing thoughts onto paper can provide the motivation to write our life’s story. It may be free flowing or be prompted by a series of questions. Reviewing sections of our life helps us to clarify our memories and the emotions attached. Unresolved issues can be seen in a new light. Relationship rifts understood and forgiven.
If you were to begin writing your own life story or eulogy where would you begin? What are the experiences that have moulded you? The amusing situations that would give others a better picture of who you are. The events and relationships that have unfolded over the decades. The challenges you overcame. Take time to piece together your memories and provide a valuable snapshot that will live on beyond your years.