The act of giving says as much about ourselves as it does about our relationship with others. Giving requires us imagining the perspective of the recipient. What would they enjoy receiving? What are their favourite things and their preferences? It requires us being observant, present in the physical sense to their likes and dislikes. This is easier for people we spend time with each day and those we have a loving relationship with.
The art of giving speaks about our generosity. It doesn’t matter whether it requires money or the gifting of our time and resources. Whatever we give says volumes about our relationship and connection with others. Giving also speaks of our family traditions and the wish to create lasting memories with our loved ones. It identifies our ability to judge the needs of others.
We accumulate memories of giving and receiving of gifts over our lifetime. I have lovely memories of extended family Christmas Days as a child. Our family joining with aunts, uncles and cousins and our beloved grandmother. Nanna had been shopping for small gifts throughout the year. After all the other gifts were distributed she would bring out an old brown suitcase brimming with small parcels to distribute. Her little symbols of her love for us all were a highlight of Christmas Day. I also remember staying awake as an older child long enough to see mum and dad place our gifts at the end of our beds. They had waited until they thought we had fallen asleep. I was tempted to take a peek to feel the shape and texture of the parcels within the Santa sack.
As adults the gifting of physical gifts changed. We became the givers of gifts rather than the recipients. It was a joy to watch our children open presents they had placed on their own Christmas list. As they got older the gift requests became more specific and expensive. It became a difficult dilemma to cater for expanded tastes on Santa’s budget. Their realization that mum and dad were the actual givers of the gifts changed the dynamic of gifting. They were then invited into the true meaning of Christmas – the ability to give to others in a meaningful way.
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Winston S. Churchill.
When we think of gifting to others it is important to ask ourselves what the recipient really needs. In a year where people have been emotionally and physically stretched it may be the less tangible needs that take priority.
- Being cared for and allowing for the opportunity to take downtime to relax and recharge.
- Contributing to a family’s bills or assisting financially with the needs of others.
- Helping families with Christmas gifts and celebration. Creating a special time over the Christmas period.
- Connecting with others and providing a listening ear so they can process the challenging year that has been.
- Physical assistance around the home.
Whatever our gifting to others becomes, spending time to observe what may really be required is important. Perhaps it is less about spending money this Christmas Season and more about truly connecting and supporting each other in meaningful ways. What do you consider important in giving to others? Comment below.