The words ‘We’re All in This Together’ are the title of a popular jingle making its presence felt on Australian television and in the psyche of the Australian people. Among the lyrics of Ben Lee’s song are …. ‘Woke up this morning, I suddenly realized, we’re all in this together. I’m made of atoms; you’re made of atoms and we’re all in this together’. Yes Ben, we certainly are. The recent months have highlighted the collective need for us to work together to fight this virus. Unlike pre-Covid times when it was more possible to look at life through our own choices, now no man (or woman for that matter) is an island.

‘We’ refers to everyone – even those who are well, in other states of the country which are less affected, or not in a risk group. We are making our decisions based on a sense of protecting our whole communities, particularly those most vulnerable, rather than from our personal preferences or comfort level. One significant change is that people are increasingly wearing masks when it is difficult to maintain physical distance. In one of Australia’s major cities, Melbourne, it is currently mandated that masks are worn in public with strict penalties for non-adherence. There has been social backlash against the anti-mask fraternity and others who are putting their own interests and agenda before the safety of others.

The ‘All’ refers to everyone – those directly affected and those affected by the mere fact that this virus loves to move from one person to another. Our communities and economy are deeply connected so we are all impacted in some way. This virus thrives on the community being out there mingling closely with each other. Its only objective is to spread through our active, engaged lives.

“Alone, we can do so little; together we can do so much”

Helen Keller

In a time when community connection is more difficult, it is definitely most needed. The longing we have for connection with each other in the world has been deferred. Perhaps our greatest current lesson is in how to restore a sense of community in a different, yet meaningful way.

We are social beings. We need one another to thrive and do this journey called life. Our previous busier existence had anchors that kept us connected to one another. Socially gathering for meals in restaurants, exercising in gyms and on ovals, attending live events in groups and a variety of other communal activities. As a by-product, they were opportunities to help and befriend each other.

Gathering together allows us to support one another in valid ways. To assist our ability to feel hope, providing opportunities for personal growth and planning for the future. Community also motivates us towards acts of love and kindness and the opportunity to encourage one another. In a group we are able to see the bigger picture or story of life beyond ourselves. To reach out to the wider world and assist in its ongoing creation.

How can we do this in safety? Online communities have certainly flourished since the beginning of Covid. These have provided the opportunity for continued learning, support, and connection. Many of us, of all ages, have increased our virtual connections with both loved ones and acquaintances. For others, who are not familiar with the technology, this has posed a challenge for remaining connected.

Where possible, people have gathered faced to face. This has become a new frontier where we are all more vigilant with signing into venues, using hand sanitizers and keeping social distancing. Life has been able to continue in a somewhat new form as smaller gatherings take place. With our loved ones, we need to trust each other to adhere to these hygiene and distancing measures, as we move between the wider community and our more intimate homes and relationships. It is there that our hugs and nurturing touch reside

The Covid pandemic has created a lost sense of what community once meant.  We are now required to be more conscious in how we connect with the wider world. Yet our daily actions and choices are the key to moving forward toward the future. The stronger our love, concern, and respect for jointly working together, hopefully the quicker we can return to the physical community connections we so desire.

We are not cut off from the world. Every interaction we have with others and they have with us adds bytes of information to our understanding of life. We form our beliefs and perceptions of the world through our most immediate contact with others. Whether it is the shop keeper who cheerfully greets us as they scan and pack our groceries, the driver who lets us in the traffic or the friend who listens to our story. Each interaction contains the possibility of renewing or destroying our faith in the basic goodness of our fellow human beings.

Author and theologian, Rev. Dr Stephanie Dowrick, suggests that we arrive on this earth with the intention of love rather than harm. As young children we are sensitive to our surroundings. We view ourselves as the central core, like the sun, as life revolves around us. Each interaction, whether with people or objects, gives feedback to support our life perception. We begin to internalize that we are safe and secure. We are nurtured and loved by others. We are taken care of.  We have an innate guidance system to getting these needs met.

We also begin to believe that life is predictable. When we signal to the world that we have a need – for nourishment, physical connection, or personal care, those around us respond. It is obvious when a baby is feeling contentment and their needs are met. Awake they are engaged, smiling and gurgling. If asleep, they are comfortable and content. We soon know if they need us by their cries of distress. Mother nature has served babies well with this form of non-verbal communication which we find difficult to ignore.

The emergence of the toddler is a testament to testing the predictability of this world. A child at this stage behaves in ways to honour their ‘separateness’ from others, realizing they can choose and control their actions. If parents can respond lovingly – fostering independence and decision making while keeping their child safe and secure, they can teach their toddlers a balanced emotional attitude of both autonomy and consideration of others.

The remaining primary emotional need is feeling a sense of significance. We yearn to be valued, recognised, and acknowledged by others. It forms the basis of our reason for existing. Young children crave the attention of others – talking constantly about what they are doing and showing us their play or creations. They love our company. How we respond to their attention seeking shows them the value we place on their existence in this world.

Each of these basic emotional needs – safety, control, and status; remain significant throughout our lives. When any of these needs are unmet, we find it difficult to thrive and flourish. The outcome is a sense of struggling to find our place in the world and experiencing increased mental health issues. The security, love, and acceptance we craved in childhood become our current priority.

When our world is challenging, as it is at the moment, it is important to ensure we can meet our own emotional needs. Our homes become safe havens for our well being and security. They are environments where we can maintain a sense of control over outside circumstances. Maintaining a job or income to sufficiently feed our families becomes paramount. Having some form of physical contact or connection with others who care about us supports our emotional wellness.

Yet there is a world outside our doors. Others in our neighbourhoods, communities and world who are struggling in an unsafe, unpredictable environment. When we remain in our secure, protective ‘bubbles’ we can fail to acknowledge and respond to the predicament of others. These are challenging times but also opportunities to reach out beyond ourselves. To be the world to other people.

Initially we can remain informed of the current situations in our communities. Consciously observing and listening to those around us. Just like children, adults show responses that indicate they are not coping. Anger and frustration may be hiding the more vulnerable emotional responses of fear and sadness. Adults are reluctant to cry as they would have as a baby, yet their basic emotional needs are continually looking to be met. When we acknowledge their experience and value them with our care we provide vital support.

We are the world to those around us. When we are observant of the needs of both ourselves and others, we support the collective physical and emotional well being of our communities. Throughout our lives, our basic emotional needs and experience of love are encountered through connection with others. The challenge in this time of isolation and distancing is maintaining that connection.