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A Glimpse of Life

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Melanie felt a sense of agitation. Her world was filled with a degree of angst and a slowly seeping dread of an uncertain future. A world that no longer made sense to her. Life was not how she had hoped and currently she sat munching on her breakfast of muesli and yoghurt. Pondering another morning in lockdown.

She scrolled down her social feed and found a favourite wise woman she liked to follow. She knew even the sound of this woman’s voice was enough to create within her a sense of quiet calm. The woman was a well-known meditation teacher and writer. A gentle presence on the screen beckoning Melanie into a different world.

“When we get lost, we need only pause, look at what is true, relax our heart and arrive again”

Tara Brach

She moved her laptop to a place outdoors where she could feel comfortable. Slipping into the wooden chair and readjusting her legs and back to feel the firmness beneath her. Enveloped and comfortable, her breathing began to relax into a soft rhythm. Closing her eyes she sensed the sounds around her. The chirps of the birds and insects in her garden, the rustle of the trees and the background noise of traffic from a nearby road.

Photo by Kate Darmody on Unsplash

Slowly calm descended on her as she listened to the softly spoken words of the recorded voice. Each phrase directing her to notice, then relax, a part of her body. Melanie observed the tension in her shoulders as she focused on them. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel various muscles around her neck and shoulders release, creating an instant sense of relief. Why hadn’t she noticed the tension before? She wondered how long she had been holding on to the weight of her concerns about the world.

Each breathe she took in felt fresh and clean. Each outward breathe gave a sense of letting go and relaxation. Once each of her body parts were highlighted and addressed her body slumped comfortably back into the frame of the chair.

‘Imagine your future self…. In five, ten or twenty years depending on the age you are now’ proposed the voice in her ear. Melanie mentally visualized the decades ahead and the ‘Melanie’ of five years’ time felt the easiest to conjure up in her mind. A person not too distant from now, most likely to be alive and living in a calmer and more consistent life than the crazy one she now inhabited.

‘Now look into your current life… search your heart and soul for what it is telling you’. Melanie pictured in her mind a sense of courage and resilience. An ability to remain patient and observant waiting for clues of a way forward. Slowly in her mind she began to picture a bridge rising from where she was in this moment to the older, future version of herself.

She remembers the initial shock of hearing the announcement of the lockdown. It seemed surreal as one moment she was enjoying the activities she loved and interacting with others. The next she was sitting alone in the quiet of her home. Only the television and her devices for entertainment and connection.

Hearing the news that evening made her feel like she was now inhabiting a strange, new world. A fearful world dealing with the spread of an invisible viral enemy. Everyone around her became a potential suspect and every surface a mission to clean. Outside her door felt unsafe territory. Whenever she ventured for a walk outdoors her gut would ache with mild anxiety until she reached her destination back home.

Heading to the supermarket in those early days was tough. Wearing a mask over her mouth and nose felt foreign and claustrophobic. As she went about the task of finding what she needed from the shelves she felt herself sashaying from side to side in the aisles to avoid physical contact with others. It made her sad that no one acknowledged each other with eye contact and when they did their eyes appeared lifeless and frightened.

Slowly and surely this new existence became more comfortable. Melanie found a new enjoyment in the time she could lavishly spend at home. She poured over cookbooks, finding recipes that she had abandoned in her previously busy life. Her garden provided a lovely sense of purpose as she tended, weeded and replanted. Her home became her haven of contentment.

Once she sensed a rhythm emerging it became possible to create a daily routine that provided a framework for her day. She used her mornings to structure her household tasks and after lunch enjoyed the opportunity to take an hour to walk in her neighbourhood. It felt more enjoyable than normal for her as she no longer took it for granted.

She noticed the changing of the seasons along her route and other people, hungry for exercise and contact, were cheery at a safe distance. The sights and smells along her walk seemed heightened as if she had not experienced them for a long time. Occasionally something would capture her attention. A beautiful light descending on a flower or stone, the intense green of a grassy field or the playfulness of a dog happy to be out with its owner. Melanie enjoyed capturing these exquisite moments of life on her phone’s camera to store as memories. Memories of a unique time and place in her life.

Over time Melanie noticed the strangeness of this altered existence became more familiar. Thankfully the measures of wearing a mask and keeping socially distanced were taking effect. She was grateful that although the overseas experience was more devastating fewer cases were found closer to home. She felt a level of protection and safety. Vaccination was also on the horizon and she could make a choice about it as an option for protection.

What she didn’t realize was how long this invisible enemy was going to be around to impact her life. Months continued to drag on to years. At times in the second year she would taste a sense of partial freedom only to be placed once more in lockdown. Each time there was a feeling of disappointment yet the lessons of how to structure her life weren’t lost allowing her to slip back into her familiar routines. For Melanie, the fear became more of the possibilities of navigating a life beyond lockdown.

How could she learn to live in this new, challenging world?

Deep in meditation Melanie tentatively took the first steps skyward along the bridge to her future self she felt a strong gentle hand reaching out to her to guide her along the way. She realised in her mind’s eye that her future self was there, already offering support for the journey ahead. A partially available vision of who she would be in a more grounded and stable existence. A sense of relief began to wash over her.

As Melanie took the last calming breaths of her meditation she felt at peace. She slowly opened her eyes to see the beauty of her backyard. The movement and rustle of the leaves in the trees. She took in the sights and sounds of the birds and insects around her. The traffic nearby steady and constant. Her life was still there waiting for her to re-enter.

In that moment she knew that there were many versions of herself. The innocent child, the adventurous young adult and the woman she now was. She also recognized there was a future wise version of herself that was ready and available to guide her forward.

Melanie realized she had at her disposal a host of lived experiences to draw on and a toolkit of strategies for the days ahead. As she walked back inside, her laptop firmly under her arm, she knew she could call on each loved version of herself as she went about the day ahead.

What is Still Possible?

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The last few years have shaken our perspective on life. On the one hand we have come face to face with a heightened awareness of our own mortality. On the other we have had the opportunity to reassess, through each challenging experience, what is important in our lives.

If we look through these times through the lens of personal growth it is possible to see that it has been an opportunity to focus inwards with increased awareness, pause and stillness. First, grieving what is no longer part of our lives – the carefree, expansive way of existence. Then we can open a doorway to compassion for ourselves and others, respect for the interconnected nature of our world and a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation.

Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash

“We will realize how wonderful the world is when we are let out into it”

David Whyte – Irish Poet

Now we are moving into a new phase of being, building the road outward toward the next part of our life journey. In a sense, it is a rebirth, seeing the world with new eyes, ears and sense of ourselves. We may also be observing our past in a new way. Questioning whether our previous choices and ways of living still serve our purpose today. Our priorities may need a minor tweak or a major overhaul to live in a more personally, authentic way.

American positive psychologist, Dr Rick Hanson, identifies three fundamental human needs – safety, life satisfaction and connection. Each of these needs can be strengthened individually. A balanced awareness of them can enhance our experience of daily life.

How can we become motivated to get back into our world and reconnect with others?

  • Creating a sense of stability. Assessing that although these are challenging times, we can assess that we are basically O.K. and all right, right now. As Pema Chodron quotes, seeing ourselves as the sky while all around us is the weather. Changeable as it emerges, is experienced and dissipates.
  • Taking action in addressing our own physical and mental health. This may include good nutrition, rest and exercise, hygiene practices, considering vaccination options or alternatives, mindfulness practices. Action is a good antidote for anxiety as it involves a level of personal control over uncertainties.
  • Realistically assessing life. Being aware of not overestimating the threats. Also not underestimating opportunities and our resources. It is possible to venture into the world with an appropriately cautious and watchful manner.
  • Recognize the beauty around us. This may include a conscious daily practice of observing the beauty in the world, in others, in ourselves and in ideas. Taking in the good and really savouring positive experiences.
  • Imagine the enjoyment of gathering with friends and family and make plans to connect when and where it is possible.

“Do all that you can, in the place where you are, with what you’ve been given, in the time that you have”

Nkosi Johnson – South African child born with HIV

Our lives have been put on an imposed ‘holding pattern’. A definite pause that may have caused us to reassess our priorities. The way forward now is to create a future for ourselves that has personal meaning. One that supports our fundamental needs and allows us to experience peace, contentment and love.

Choosing Fear or Love

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We certainly live in globally difficult times. I personally feel we are meant to be challenged right now. It’s highlighting what’s not quite right with the world. Opening us up to more balanced, caring ways of living our lives.

There is so much to consider about life and increased awareness to be gained from critical thinking. The more widely we explore, the more open our perspective can become. Particularly if we are willing to step beyond our own current beliefs and opinions and listen to others.

“Listening to others, especially those with whom we disagree, tests our own ideas and beliefs. It forces us to recognize, with humility, that we don’t have a monopoly on the truth“.

Janet Yellen
Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

It requires exploring a wider, holistic approach. In regard to addressing the current health pandemic, considering the physical health aspect of the equation balanced with the social/emotional well-being of the individual and population. There have been some heartfelt situations arise particularly with the elderly, bereaved, chronically unwell, unsafely housed and lonely.

What a massive challenge weighing up the risks and benefits of current and possible future strategies and policy.  ‘One size fits all’ can hopefully be slowed down and assessed for its relevance. In Australia, we have become a highly vaccinated and relatively compliant population to health directives in response to the Covid 19 Pandemic. Time will tell if these governance measures create the society we each want to live in. We also need to be mindful of inclusion of all of our population in our future way of life.

As an early childhood teacher I am particularly drawn to thinking about the long term impacts on childhood development of children born during the pandemic. A critical stage in their development where babies have been unable to see others smile and engage with them. A time when their play and exploration has been partly inhibited with an increased emphasis on their physical health and safety. Largely inhabiting a reduced world of their family home and its occupants. Some will be more vulnerable to developmental setbacks than others.

Older children are beginning to get back to their education. Adults to their work lives and re-connection with the wider world. Each of us re-engaging with a level of uncertainty for what lies ahead. Feeling a more tangible sense of our lack of personal agency and control. Yet we have active, thinking minds. Minds that can adapt to changing circumstances.

I am drawn to the additional fifth agreement in Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements).

He suggests that we be sceptical, advising us not to believe either ourselves or anybody else. That we be open and challenged by new, and dare I say, opposing information.  We can also use the power of doubt to question everything we hear. Is it really the truth? Who is speaking and what is their intention behind the words. What is the real message being conveyed in what is being said?

I believe this is a good stance for investigating the world. One we should teach our children. To start with a critical view of the vast amount of information they come across. In addition, to be willing to widen their perspective along the way. We need critical thinkers to navigate our current world. Aware of our human biases, such as how we actively seek out information that confirms our current knowledge, while discarding what we don’t want to hear. We can also fall into the trap of overestimating our expertise on a subject. Perhaps it is time to be humble enough to recognise those things we don’t know, as much as being sure of what we do.

Where does that leave us. We can see the current world through a lens of fear or of love. Increasingly I hope we see it through love. A world where we protect the vulnerable and look out for the needs of others. Where we encourage open, respectful conversations and care more deeply for each other and the world. That’s a world I believe we all want to inhabit.

Covid Calories

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The words ‘Covid Calories’ are being voiced by groups of women I connect with. We realize the calories we have consumed during lock down have somehow translated into Covid Kilos (or pounds in imperial measures). As we go to our wardrobes, to our dismay our clothes no longer fit. They have become snug or even tight; zips don’t go up and extra padding on our bodies is evident. With the warmer weather approaching we are thinking of summer clothes, lighter fabrics and even the possibility of swimwear. Our summers in Australia can be hot.

Photo by i yunmai on Unsplash

In early lockdown, around March to May, we were practicing physical distancing and only going out from our homes for essentials – doctor’s appointments, supermarket visits and brief bursts of exercise. Our pantries and fridges became very convenient and in the void we found our old recipe books and began to cook our favourites. Devoid of our usual busy activities we resorted to living our lives around mealtimes.

We watched the news bulletins. The only thing that seemed newsworthy was the virus. Each day became like Groundhog Day. Waking from our slumber we wondered if it was all just a bad dream. It was only when we switched on the television that we realised life had not changed. Each day the same news, the same concerns, and building anxiety. We began to get used to the additional hygiene measures we needed to take against this invisible enemy. We no longer hugged our love ones or greeted with a handshake. We sanitised our lives and those of our children. As borders were closed and hotspots identified, rules began to constantly change and we grew more concerned about possible spread. The level of uncertainty was palatable. Emotional eating and lack of energy from constant worry became a pattern.

As winter approached the weather cooled and our activity reduced. Many of our usual sources of exercise were unable to happen or had gone online. The loungeroom couch looked enticing with all its pillows and throws. Our heater or open fire was cosy. We reached for our televisions and technology for company and that kitchen pantry kept beckoning with its proximity.

How can we begin to emerge from the exercise and eating habits of Covid? To rise from the cooler months and find new motivation for our health and well being.

Begin each day – spend time in your own world before entering the wider world we inhabit. Even before you open your eyes stretch out in bed and take some calming full breaths. Only then open your eyes and allow your senses to enter the new day. Slowly and quietly emerge. Have breakfast in a calm way preferably with solitude. Listen to nature outside. Sit in the sunshine. Leave technology and television until later. If you have others in the house be mindful of easing into the day. For families this can be soothing as a daily pattern. Appreciate with gratitude the new day.

Do one thing at a time – Eating while watching the breakfast news or scrolling social media feeds can make us unaware of what we are consuming. We fail to notice how the food looks and smells or take our time to savour each bite. Meals are a time to focus on nourishing our bodies. If we are more conscious we can register when our stomachs have filled and stop reaching for more food.

Avoid emotional eating – a pattern of worry and uncertainty may have led to emotional eating over these months. To circumvent this, one of the best exercises is to take yourself for a walk. This provides both distraction and fresh air.

“Walk yourself out of your bad mood (inertia, anxiety). Studies show that even a 10-minute walk immediately boosts brain chemistry to increase happiness”

Unknown

Use connection to exercise together – Reconnect as you are allowed. Even if for now it is only among your neighbourhood and local community. Meet up again with people face to face rather than online or via technology.

Take the opportunity to choose activities that bring your heart rate up. My favourite at the moment is Zumba, a dance class where not only do we connect and have fun moving in a socially distanced way, we burn calories without really noticing. Also incorporate exercise that calms the mind for example Yoga, Tai Chi or Pilates.  In that way you are nurturing your mind, body, and soul.

Be Mindful at the Supermarket – We have learnt to be more conscious in our shopping habits so now is also a time to make these trips effective. Look for lighter recipes and meals to make, take your shopping list and source fresh, healthy options. Although more calorie laden options are readily available – if they don’t make it into the shopping trolley and to our home, we can’t be enticed to eat them.

Our lives and conversations have been heavily weighted to Covid of late. Not only has it concerned us, but it has also caused us to put on weight. With a more mindful approach we can restore our balance and wellbeing. Our bodies will thank us for this healthier approach.

June 2025
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