I have an album of pictures that include those taken when I was a child. I love these photos of a little girl who is full of life and adventure. Many of them were taken at my childhood home, just 5 km down the road from where I currently live. This home provided ample space on a small farm while having proximity to the town and schools I attended. As I look back on these pictures it dawned on me how far I have come in my life journey and how it has taken me full circle back to my birthplace.
My birthplace is a heart space for me. During our lives we may reside in and visit various locations, but some resonate more deeply for us and hold lasting memories. There is something about this place. The changing seasons, the patchwork of farming crops and water channel lifelines visible from above. It has always been a beautiful bustling multicultural town. There is an energy of connection, productivity and abundance. There is wisdom here and acceptance. For me, there is a rich association that spans my lifetime.
This is not the first time I have returned. When our children were young, we moved here for work and schooling. It became the place they grew up, met their partners and started their own families. They continue to live here today. It often amused my children when it took longer than normal on visits to the main street. People seemed to know their mother. These were the people from my youth or school days who stopped to have a chat. I was not anonymous as I might be in a larger city. I was connected through a variety of invisible threads.
During those years, a new round of connections, based on our working and social lives, expanded the threads. This continued until my husband and I moved away to a coastal town almost twenty years ago. New activities and friendships evolved for us, yet there was a sense of identity loss on my part. My new community could not fill my need for family connection. I began to feel I was living like a ‘ghost’ in a place I failed to connect with. It became clearer that the only way to resolve this was to return to my roots.
What you seek is seeking you – When you strive for something with all your heart, it strives back for you.
Rumi, the Great Persian Poet.
It is eighteen months since I have made the full circle back to my birthplace. The person I am now is barely recognisable to the one who first arrived. I am more independent, more assured and more certain of my next steps in life’s journey.
Returning has also given me the opportunity to reflect on my family’s history and roots in this place. My grandfather, a soldier settler, and my grandmother a war bride from England were among the first pioneering families of the area. When I go to the local cemetery, which happens to be centrally located in town, I know a whole extended family including my mother and father are buried there. Together they developed professions and successful small businesses. They provided wonderful lifestyles for their families. This rural part of Australia provided a base to allow them to do so.
The current social isolation and strict ‘Stay at Home’ measures have temporarily halted much of the physical connection I established with this community. Yet I know in my heart this is where I am meant to be right now. The present time is giving me an opportunity for more clarity and inner growth. The familiarity of my neighbourhood allows me to feel the energy and wisdom of my grandparents and parents. I know why I am here.