Where are you most vulnerable? Those parts of your life that tend to bring you down when the rest of your personality feels strong. These are often referred to as your Achilles Heel. We all tend to have them and they continually challenge us and impact our lives.
The term Achilles Heel has a mythological origin. It is named after the Greek hero, Achilles. When he was a small child his mother dipped him into the river Styx in an attempt to make him invulnerable from injury. She held him by the heel, which of course stayed dry. Consequently that small part of his body became his vulnerability and eventually his downfall in battle.
Achilles also has his name attached to a part of our body that connects our calf muscle to our heel. Many of us can attest to the debilitating effects of damage in this area. It tends to stop us in our tracks when injured and takes time to physically heal.
In modern times, the phrase has taken on the meaning of a weak spot or vulnerability in a person.
Let’s take a personal inventory of our possible ‘Achilles Heels’.
Mortality
This can lead to our fear of dying and consequent inability to engage with and enjoy life. Over our lifetime we see our loved ones die. Each time it hits us as grief and love intertwined. The one thing our loved one doesn’t want for us is to continue our mourning for them instead of cherishing our memories and moving forward fully living our own lives.
It’s a hard one, because life will always provide triggers that pull at our heart and create possible regret and pain. Special occasions and milestones in life that are not shared. Conversations and physical contact that is no longer accessible. Even when we become unwell or injured we feel closer to our final demise. It makes us consider our own fragility and temporary hold on life.
Pride
We can sometimes sit firmly in our own shoes and fail to empathize with others. In the process grudges can be kept rather than trying to understand and mend conflict. We can remain unforgiving which ends up hurting ourselves and fails to repair a lost relationship. Our own pride can make us self-obsessed or self-centred. In doing so we can fail to see the hurt we cause by not considering the impact we have on others.
Unreciprocated love
Love can be an absolute minefield. In our closest relationships we are most vulnerable to being hurt and let down. Sometimes it requires creating healthier boundaries around a relationship and focusing on our own self-care and love. Only then do we have the potential to attract someone who genuinely loves us in a mutual and available way.
Impatience
We can want life to change immediately. This can be a sign that we are unwilling to do the inner and outer work required. It also signals to us that the timing of life events is outside our personal control. It may even mean that we are destined for an entirely different life direction. Appreciating what is, rather than struggling for a hoped for future helps us stay grounded in the present moment.
Laziness/busyness
These feel like two ends of a spectrum. At times we can lack motivation to get on with life. Life fails to be joyful or purposeful. Other times we seem to be obsessed with getting things done. Our focus can mean we miss precious encounters with our loved ones by failing to be mentally and physically present. There is a need for balance between stillness and activity.
Selfishness
Life is about compromise. That is why we live within family units where not all our needs take priority and we learn compassion and empathy for others. There are valuable life lessons in getting outside our own ego. We learn to be humble, generous and supportive not only with family, but also with the wider world.
Impulsiveness
At times we can reach conclusions quickly. We make assumptions about situations and people without spending time to observe and listen. Take the time to gather information from a variety of perspectives. Reflect well, so your interactions can be helpful and measured.
Fear and inability to trust.
Trusting others and being vulnerable is scary. Use your intuition and other traits such as common sense, truth testing and observation; to guide you to who and what you can trust.
Sometimes you have to drop your guard so your heart can breathe
Emma Xu
We are all a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. If we are able to see both within ourselves, it is possible to decide ways that we can begin to change.
Having a chat with someone you can confide in may help to shift your perspective. We can be blind to our own weaknesses, if not examined, and also blind to our own strengths. Getting the perspective of others is helpful.
Once a weakness is identified look for ways to encourage its opposite. If you are prone to being a bit selfish look for ways to serve others. If you are fearful, breed some courage through action. If you are not feeling loved, deeply begin to feel love for yourself. Face your own vulnerabilities, or Achilles Heel, and use them as a source for your own personal growth.