Mother’s Day 2021 is drawing near. The emails and promotional pamphlets have been circulating. Retail promotions and venues are once again gearing up for another marketing opportunity. Yet this time is an uncomfortable one for a large proportion of women.
For me, like countless others, Mother’s Day has become a time of reflection and at times sadness and regret for what could have been. My mother received her heavenly wings forty years ago. She was fifty-two years old; I was twenty-two and my younger sister only seventeen.
At the time she received a late diagnosis of bowel cancer. A disease that was not really understood at the time. Many of her symptoms were put down to menopause and were not thoroughly investigated until it was too late to act. My sister and I are among the millions of Australian women who have suffered motherloss and also among the unenviable subset of 1.2 million women who have lost their mums before the age of 44.
‘There are 3.7 Million women in Australia who have lost their mum. That’s millions who have lost the deep connection shared only between a mother and daughter.’
Motherless Daughters Australia.
There are so many occasions in my life where her absence was felt. The day I was married, the pregnancies and births of my two children and seeing my children grow into adults and begin to raise their own families. Even the opportunity to seek her opinion or cry on her shoulder when things got tough was denied. Oh for five minutes again with her on the earthly side.
It is difficult for motherless daughters to share the pain and grief they feel with others. Particularly when all around them they see mothers and their daughters enjoying life experiences together. Thankfully, a wonderful organisation, Motherless Daughters Australia, has provided a platform for support and awareness. Their website and public Facebook page provide valuable assistance when it is needed. Events are organised and general awareness promoted.
This week, May 2 – 8, is Motherloss Awareness Week. A time to let the community know it can be a difficult one for motherless daughters. Yet the loss of our mothers continues to be felt throughout the year. Motherless Daughters are being encouraged to Draw Her Wings in a variety of creative ways and post them to their social media platforms. The week begins with several Pre-Mother’s Day High Tea events in several of our capital cities. A time when women can come together to remember their mothers and share their stories. I will be attending the Canberra event.
For me, it will signal a time to begin rituals that will honour the brief time together that my mum and I had in this life. I will be bringing flowers and spending time at her grave and that of my nanna. There will also be time for me to celebrate my own role as a mother and grandmother with my adult children and grandchildren. That is incredibly special. It’s also a symbolic connecting of my matriarchal line.
From a time of sorrow can come a time of deep reflection and gratitude. I feel blessed to have come across the Motherless Daughters Australia organisation. Daily we can share our struggles and remembrance within a private Facebook group. We have opportunities to connect with one another online and in person. Each of us have been invited to take on the role of a motherless daughter’s ambassador creating a meaningful outlet and purpose from our lived experience.
Within our communities are countless women who will hold up the memory of their heavenly mothers this Mother’s Day. If that is you, go ahead, Draw Her Wings, and fondly recall your relationship together.