I have always been fascinated by the story line of the movie Sliding Doors. As London woman, Helen Quilley (played by Gwyneth Paltrow) unexpectedly misses her train ride home, she opens up a pandora’s box of two alternate futures. Both of these scenarios are explored during the course of the movie.
When we look at life we can see where opportunities have arisen and doors to an alternate possible future have opened. Equally, if we listen intuitively, we can hear and feel the experience of doors in our lives closing. It may be a stage of life, for example, our children grow up and no longer need our ever-present care and support. Perhaps a painful reality of the journey to losing a loved one. It can also be in a situation, where staying creates more pain than letting go and moving on.
Often it’s a crossroad or ‘fork in the road’ in our lives that begins momentum. For me, it was the painful reality of choosing between an idyllic seaside life with my husband or the heart yearning voice of needing to return to my roots and spend time with my children and grandchildren.
I sat in the pain of trying to resolve this for some time. It sapped my energy and quashed my happiness. At one point, where I felt I couldn’t find resolution, I lay in my bed refusing to engage with the world. I wondered how I deserved this lot in life. Life seemed so unfair as I looked at others around me connected as extended families.
Yet in time I eventually persevered through each day. Making some conscious decisions to visit my hometown, children, and grandchildren more often. Wondering if that would quell my inner sadness. You know, we are persistent creatures, often continuing through our pain and suffering hoping for a solution to appear – a light at the end of the tunnel.
Little seeds of possibility began to show themselves. As the physical solutions became apparent – a home to live in and a reason to make the move, my desire to take action and open this door of opportunity grew. Once I had made the decision to take action a strange thing happened. My whole body calmed and I began to feel a weight lifted. Intuitively I knew the Universe had my back and everything would be O.K. Much of the tension and sadness had been released.
“Be brave enough to give away what is not good for you”
David Whyte – Half A Shade Braver September 2020 Series.
It has been a two-year journey to find the convergence of my heart’s desires and my answers. What have I learnt from stepping through the open door?
- To trust myself, beyond my constant thoughts. To check more deeply within to my heart and gut for the quieter signposts of realization. Then to create space and silence to delve deeply into my own healing and unique solutions.
- To be selfish around my personal needs. To look into my own reflection and ask – What do you need? After walking the maternal tightrope between being selfless in my mothering role and selfish in my personal needs, more the former than the later, I now make myself a priority.
- To be brave and step out of my comfort zone. Taking heart felt actions that resonate.
- To connect more deeply in my interactions and conversations with others. This only came from truly knowing the person I was becoming and enjoying how my life was unfolding.
In our current world, we have been given a gift. It’s the gift of more time and opportunity to go deeper and contemplate what is most important in our lives. We have been brought to a new reality. Embrace the opportunity to see if doors are quietly closing or opening for you. Be brave and contemplate what it might be like to put your heart felt needs first and venture through that opening door.