A recent promotion of Destination NSW (Australia) has asked for a reboot of 2020. We are being encouraged to adjust our travel plans to focus on exploring destinations closer to home. With recent extended state border closures our opportunity to travel further afield has been thwarted.

This change was not unanticipated. Since the beginning of dealing with the pandemic we have been individually and collectively adjusting our way of life. We have been called to new actions and responses. The prolonged and fragile nature of the situation has led to some unhelpful responses such as ‘scapegoating’ individuals with recrimination or focusing on self-pity.  Whether it is government level decision making, workplace solutions or family adaption to the crisis we are all on relatively new ground and learning along the way.

Life has never been certain. Part of our humanness lies in reacting to the changing circumstances and challenges of our lives. The grief process is closely tied to this reaction. It is as individual and unique as we are. For many of us it is the personal reaction of mourning of the life and plans we had. There is a loss of innocence in the thinly veiled sense of control of our destiny. Yet loss and its lessons are part of the tapestry of life.

This pandemic and its accompanying world circumstances are far from over. There is so much going on in the background that we cannot see. Yet it is influencing how our future will play out. With no solution, such as a vaccine, a reboot process to start completely afresh is not possible. Instead we need to solidify the current strategies we are using and build courage and emotional stamina to sustain both ourselves and others. To continue to see ourselves in the catch cry – ‘We are all in this together’.

At the basic level we can concentrate on those things we can control. We can be prepared with provisions in our homes as a precautionary measure in case of future lockdown. There is a comfort in maintaining our daily routines and following the key messages for hygiene and social distancing, particularly when we are out in the community. Being kind to ourselves, ensuring a balance of exercise and adequate rest are important. Allowing emotions such as sorrow and frustration to be expressed keep us from internalizing the natural responses we have to the ebb and flow of life.

Once there is assurance in our basic physical and emotional needs being met, we can extend to higher order needs. These include: –

• The ability for privacy – The pandemic has highlighted our need to relearn the ability to switch off from our surrounding environment. We all need times in our day when we can pause and not be accountable to others. In that time, we can allow our brain to absorb and integrate our current experiences. The practice can be as simple as taking ten deep breaths or doing some gentle stretches and movement with our body. It can also be time out in nature or taking a moment to write thoughts on paper. We all have limits on our ability to care for others. Honour your limit.
• Receiving and giving quality attention – The person who takes time to really listen to us gives us a wonderful gift. If we can engage in mutual, deep conversation and exchange of good quality connection with others we provide a valuable support for each other.
• Being part of the wider community – Prolonged loneliness affects both our health and life expectancy. We are meant to live in community, supported by others. Finding a kinship group of like-minded people or supportive family or friendship group is key to emotional well being.
• Self-Worth – Having a true sense of our own value and worthiness is important for well being.  Learn to accept all that you are and forgive yourself for any past mistakes knowing we are all human and fallible. Having at least one person in your life that accepts you unconditionally allows you to relax into your authentic nature.

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)”

James Baraz

Our current situation cannot be undone or rebooted. We are called to venture through this experience. Being mindful of what we are learning and using strategies to support our physical and emotional well being. All the best on your journey.

Life has been turned upside down recently. Not just for some but for all of us. The daily activities we enjoyed and the people we connected with are no longer available to us. Our travel has been restricted or non-existent. The sports and cultural events we previously enjoyed are now in recess. We have hit a pause button as the world awaits a solution to the current pandemic.

 As each day dawns it feels like Groundhog Day. Another day of social isolation, heightened hygiene measures and prolonged uncertainty.  Much of life has changed so quickly that it is now quite difficult to remember the carefree pre-virus days. As much as we try to control and make sense of current events we live in a messy, emotional, and discomforting uncertainty. We can get wrapped up in our thoughts and find our minds spinning in circles looking for solutions. Is it time to surrender to accepting what is, rather than striving to manage what is beyond our control?

Here are some areas you might be trying to control:-

• Moving forward with work in a changing economy. One-week life seemed so stable with a workplace and steady wage paying mortgages and bills. The next week may have meant upheaval and change – working from home amidst family or facing unseen redundancy.
• Maintaining a business and putting in strategies toward its survival.
• The need for high grade hygiene practices in environments that once were more relaxed.
• Helping an elderly parent navigate isolation from loved ones or family members to find the right treatment for medical conditions.
• Amid the pandemic finding the ‘right path’ for a loved one who is dying and finding safe ways to celebrate their lives.

American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the following prayer. His poignant words point to knowing the difference between having courage to change what is possible while also being able to accept and surrender to what we are unable to change. We have limited control over our current world circumstances, yet we can choose how we respond.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things that cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

What does surrender or acceptance look like?

It may be temporarily letting go of the need to be someone or to be somewhere you are not. Pre-pandemic days may have been filled with plans. Plans to travel and spend time in warmer climates. Plans to relocate, expand a business, or begin a new life direction. The experiences we so longed for may be temporarily unavailable.

 I know I have spent the last few years of my life on a journey of inner growth and understanding. This new sense of self has allowed me to dream of new, more authentic ways of being in the world and creating a legacy. While I am quietly working away at the possibilities at home, I am also feeling the limits of my energy and coping ability right now. I love this person I have become but I want to nurture her. I know I need to find the balance between focusing on what I plan to achieve and rest.

What do you gain from surrendering to your current life situation?

A chance to give yourself respite from daily concerns. This includes letting go of expectations of what you should be doing. These expectations may have been fine under different circumstances. Now wisdom needs to step in as you acknowledge that you have achieved all you need right now.

Loving yourself enough to know your limits. This has been an insight for me lately. I have always been confident in my creative ability. What I am finding challenging is the technology side of new skills I am learning. I am blown away with what I have been able to accomplish recently, particularly with less face to face guidance. Yet also finding that my head is spinning with new information and I feel totally out of my depth with some tasks.

Show self-compassion and gentleness with yourself. The current time is tough for many and it is important to slow down and relax more often. This allows your mind, body and spirit the time it needs to re energize and heal.

Our current times are uncertain, and we are feeling a host of emotions as we navigate each day. Perhaps taking a break from constant striving may help each of us to find our answers and a deeper sense of inner peace.

As mothers, grandmothers, and nurturers we want this ‘enemy’ to our well being gone. Particularly for our families, but also radiating beyond to our neighbourhoods, countries, and the world. We have a sense that this pandemic may be the opportunity for Mother Earth to heal. We see clearer skies with the endless flight trails gone and natural wonders visible once more. Our cars sit in garages instead of creating traffic congestion around each major city. Animals are venturing into spaces that have been the domain of people, as we humans isolate ourselves in our homes. This is nature in restoration mode. Yet an invisible ‘enemy’ in the form of the Corona virus is present among us.

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It is easy for us to get caught up in worry about our current level of cleaning, disinfecting, and additional hygiene practices. We fear for our health and those of our loved ones. We remain socially distant and cautious. We hope any contact does not make us vulnerable to infecting ourselves or others. It is easy to step ever closer to feelings of overwhelm and anxiety.

Recently I imagined myself giving a massive hug to the world in my meditation practice. She certainly needs it right now.

But I couldn’t picture that possibility until I let go of my wanting to control the problem. This is a natural human tendency. I needed to have a moment with my feast of feelings within. Acknowledging them, accepting them as being part of me as a human being in this current time. I also needed to resist stuffing them back away to process at another time.

I had to scan and let go of each feeling as they arose – sadness, powerlessness, anger, frustration and despair. If I could name the feeling, I expressed it. With each breathe I sat with the uncomfortable sensations. Placing a gentle hand over where the emotional pain ‘hurt’ with acceptance, not judging or attachment. Once I felt each sensation fully, I didn’t need to linger, it was time to release it with a full exhale through my mouth.

What I experienced was gradual emptying of what I had been carrying. Like removing a heavy coat, pockets filled with emotions, and gradually dropping it to the ground. I felt a sense of restoring and balance. Now I could breathe more fully.

“Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of Life”

Bob Proctor

It was time to breathe in new feelings – Love, compassion, peace, and the sense of giving our world a big hug.

I encourage you to try this practice as you navigate our current changed world. It is a tool for everyday and available when you need it most. The breath is our most readily available and automatic resources. Most of the time we are unaware of it until our bodies feel tight and uncomfortable. Observing our thoughts and emotions through our breathe is one of the few things we can consciously control.