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We Are Made To Adapt

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This morning I was watching a media segment on the war in Ukraine. A brave young Ukrainian soldier was being interviewed while blasts from bomb attacks were happening in the background. He briefly turned toward the action and back to the camera. What he said was truly amazing. “It’s o.k., we humans were made to adapt”. While I’m sure he wouldn’t want to choose the situation he has found himself in, he has given himself a sense of agency. His perspective showed his willingness to process his surroundings and action his body for the coming day.

In essence we are changeable creatures. Susan Willson, a women’s health writer, states that when scientists finally unraveled the human genome sequence they found fewer genes than they expected. They also found that humans haven’t changed dramatically in their make-up since they first appeared on Earth. Far from having a multitude of genes that are instrumental in changes in our body, our fewer genes continually change and adapt to the environment in which we are placed in this world. The process makes each of us a unique product of nature and nurture.

Photo by Beth Macdonald on Unsplash

This has positive ramifications for our ability to learn from experience. While we do come with traits that are wired into our DNA, a larger proportion are malleable through self-awareness and learning. The information we take into our brain, the memories we instill, the emotional residue of our experiences and our sense of self can each evolve over our lifetime. Therefore, negative experiences in the past can be ‘re-framed’ to see a clearer picture. We can learn from life’s lessons and discard thought patterns and beliefs that are no longer personally relevant.

‘You can pull any thread and unravel the universe’

Susan Willson

Learning plays a key role in how we perceive life. Each of us sit somewhere on the optimism: pessimism spectrum of human perspective. Yet the genetic component of this trait is minor. We have opportunities to shift our view of life through conscious awareness of the world around us.

Dr Rick Hanson talks about this process as ‘Taking in the Good’. Looking each day for the positive experiences that are happening in our lives right under our noses. The mundane and ordinary. The comfortable bed, the nourishing meal, the joy of being with the people who love and support us each day. When we notice these things more, with a sense of gratitude and appreciation, we train our mind to continue this quest of finding what’s good about the world we inhabit.

Life will still throw challenges and difficulties our way. How we respond matters, just like the brave young Ukrainian soldier. By widening our view to see both the positive and negative aspects of life it can become more balanced and realistic. We can bring inner resources such as strength, resilience, empathy, skilled assertiveness and a sense of belonging to the situations we find ourselves in.

Appreciate that you have come into this life with your body prepared to adapt to its environment. Some things are uniquely genetically a part of you. Others are malleable and have the ability to change. Each day is an opportunity to shift your perspective on life, making small adjustments in your thoughts and actions. Increasingly noticing positive experiences and using them to gain perspective and grow inner resources to face the inevitable negative experiences of life.

Lifelong Learning

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When you look at a young child or baby engaging with their world you see a role model for learning. They have a natural curiosity even for the smallest and most mundane things. They come equipped with the capacity to learn and much of their learning happens while engrossed in play. It’s a joy to watch children mesmerized by something new, their faces showing intrigue or their bodies filled with energy and at times laughter and delight. We are witnessing them taking in the learning experience fully.

We now know with imaging of the active brain that we continue to learn throughout our lives. Our brain network changes as we interact with the world. Neuroplasticity of the neural network of the brain allows for brain connections to strengthen and alter as each piece of information rapidly passes through. The neurons that fire together, wire together. While some of our ability to learn is encoded in our DNA, a larger portion of our learning is gained from our interactions with the world.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

“Learning is not a spectator sport”

B. F. Samuel

For beneficial changes to occur in our brain we need to be active participants in exploring our world and willing to change our perspective over time. As we learn, we can enhance the connections by doing the following: –

Talking about what we are learning – sharing it with others, hearing different perspectives in order to modify and enrich our own understanding. In educational theory, a slightly more competent child can support the learning of another, ‘scaffolding’ the next step in their understanding. When we discuss our learning with others as adults the potential for scaffolding continues to exist.

Writing about it – gaining clarity and perspective on what we know. Seeing how our thoughts and beliefs change over time. Potentially finding solutions to challenges we are facing by examining our written thoughts.

Applying it to our daily lives – physically ‘doing’ what we are learning to increase competency and skill development. If what we are learning is relevant to us, it becomes both enjoyable and meaningful. We are self- motivated to repeat what we are learning and move toward the satisfaction of mastery.

Relating it to past experiences – Building upon our understanding and knowledge. Seeing patterns from the past in our learning. What has worked and what hasn’t worked. What was relevant in the past but is no longer relevant. This helps us to find new ways of interacting with the world.

Feeling what we are learning fully in our minds and bodies – by using our thoughts, emotional responses and sensory perceptions as we learn. What are our desires and end goals in our learning? What actions will increase our learning? These strategies help us enrich our knowledge and make it part of who we are.

Overcoming the negativity bias in our learning

As humans we have evolved a mental negativity bias. We hold onto the negative past experiences and continue to feel them fully in our mind and body. It is very hard to stop going over all the minute details of a negative experience. Inadvertently, as we ruminate over the past, we strengthen the brain connections that hold particular memories. Replaying the story, embellishing and modifying the version each time. In the end, this allows the negative past view to stick like Velcro in our mind being both expanded and absorbed.

The positive experiences in our lives are harder to grasp onto. While some are major highlights such as holidays and celebrations many are quite mundane and ordinary. We are often surrounded by examples of them around us each and every day. Rather than sticking like Velcro positive experiences tend to be more like the Teflon surface of a pan, easily slipping away.

“The brain is an enchanted loom where millions of flashing shuttles weave a dissolving pattern, always a meaningful pattern though never an abiding one”.

Charles Sherrington

To take in the good things in life requires us to slow down and observe the world around us. Much like a child. Once we can focus our attention to our surroundings its easier to notice and savour an experience. It might be the comfort of our warm bed when we wake up, a delicious breakfast, the sun on our limbs as we walk the neighbourhood, the satisfaction in connecting with others throughout our day.

The first step is to notice the good facts. Make a mental or physical note of examples of the good things happening as you go about your day. Expand the good facts into good experiences by spending as much time as possible savouring them. Engage your thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations to immerse yourself more deeply in a few of the good facts you come across. What is novel and different in what you are observing? How important and relevant is this good fact to your life as a whole? It is not unusual to find a sense of gratitude, contentment and love emerge from the experience.

Regularly focusing on the what’s good in your life helps to shift your focus toward noticing more positive examples. You are reinforcing your perspective on the good in life. There will still be negative experiences and challenges to deal with, but your mind will learn to overcome them with inner resources you have been developing. Having a wider perspective on life will also help you appreciate the balance of positive, neutral and negative experiences you are navigating in your day.

Throughout life we continue to learn. When we take more note of the positive, beneficial experiences we have it supports our own well-being. In the process we build more inner resources to meet the inevitable challenges we face in life. We also develop skills to support others.

Dealing with Life’s Challenges

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There are probably many ways we can face and overcome difficulties in our lives. What approach is useful to mindfully navigate life’s upsets and move forward? One approach I am exploring at the moment is the Garden of the Mind analogy of positive psychologist, Dr Rick Hanson. He refers to the mind as a garden to both be admired and tended to.

Photo by Mike Erskine on Unsplash

When we first view the beauty in a garden it is with admiration for the sights, sounds and smells that inhabit there. If it’s our own garden we are also obliged to tend to the garden – to pull up the weeds and plant new blooms. These parts of the analogy are respectively labelled ‘letting go’ and ‘letting in’. Our mind, just like a garden, is a dynamic organism. Ever changing and evolving.

The primary stance we need to take with our mind is to ‘let it be’. To be comfortable and capable with what we find there. This is no easy task. Often if we are not okay with how life is in the present moment we are less likely to accept our reality. To resist it, to place our own interpretations and stories as layers over reality in order to alleviate the pain we feel inside. Some of that pain is associated with our regrets. For example, regretting missed opportunities in our past to create stability in our present life, hurtful past words or actions, not keeping in touch with others and failing to be bold enough to follow our dreams. Consequently, the life we see in front of us doesn’t live up to our expectations.

Yet I’ve found with acceptance of all that life currently is, relishing the positive and acknowledging the ‘good, bad and the ugly’ of it all, something wonderful happens. A state of calm and sense of release becomes possible. There is an ability to see our life for what it is and accept it fully.

Strategies towards acceptance – observing our lives.

Imagine you are in a movie theatre watching the story of your life. If you are sitting close to the screen it feels emotionally charged and in your face. What if you figuratively relocate within the ‘movie theatre’ to sit more comfortably twenty rows back. Now you have a more removed, wider perspective of the action. It becomes possible to observe what’s happening in your life without feeling constantly hijacked by the action and enmeshed in the dialogue.

Once you are more removed and observant it’s possible to examine your life as it is. I personally resonate with The Work by Byron Katie. She uses a series of questions to examine the truths we believe about our lives. As we verbalize what we believe is happening in a situation it is possible to pause and ask the question… Is it actually true? That’s an insightful mindful pause in our mental dialogue. Then the thought is then turned around to include ourselves. Often what we believe and say about other people is really our own internal struggle and personal work.

The things that others say about us may also not really be about us at all. Often it is a reflection of their own inner dialogue. If in the heat of conflict we can pause and distance ourselves emotionally, it’s possible to view what might be happening behind the conversation. In doing so, it is easier not to take things personally and opens the door to our compassion, love, empathy and understanding for the other person.

The strategies above can go a long way to allowing us to let go of negative mind matter – the weeds in the garden. To loosen the hidden anger, anxiety, worry and ruminating over situations. To slowly bring us out of unhelpful story lines our mind has created about our lives, ourselves and others.

Letting in the Good

Thankfully now we have created room to bring in a more positive mindset. The weeds in the garden of the mind have been pulled out. Some of them were tough and determined to stay. Once we have space for new blooms it’s important to cultivate and nurture positive experiences. These are often more fleeting and need us to pay more conscious attention to them.

So when we find ourselves in an enjoyable experience or enriching interaction with someone it’s important to notice and savour it fully. Stay with it as long as possible. Use your senses to intensify the sensations so it pervades your mind. Look for what is fresh, new and novel and ensure it is personally relevant. Each of these factors will help you absorb the experience more fully and integrate it into your mind and body.

Life will continue to give us challenges. Using tools of mindfulness can allow us to improve our capacity to respond in ways that serve our well-being. In mindfulness we find strategies that allow us to pause within our everyday lives. To observe and appreciate our life as it is, to work on letting go of what doesn’t serve us and to bring in more of the good into the ‘Garden of our Mind’.

5 Ways to think about Mindfulness

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The concept of mindfulness has gained popularity in the 21st Century. Our distracting, demanding and often over stimulated lives have made us less able to function successfully on a daily basis. Although mindfulness has ancient Buddhist roots, it is equally applicable today. Recent neuroscientific research on brain development and behaviour has given us more insight into the mechanism and benefits of mindfulness.

Through this research we now know that the neuroplasticity occurs continually and subtly within our brain throughout life. Changes in the way we think impact our brain’s structure. Reinforcing and strengthening neural connections that are already there and stimulating new ones. Repeated patterns of activity have the ability to change the neural structure and function. So with focused attention on mindfulness we have the potential to rewire our brain for the better. That’s both exciting and comforting to know.

Photo by Thomas Millot on Unsplash

So what is mindfulness?

The most common definition is sustained, present moment awareness that is neutral and non-judgmental. It can be focused inwardly to our thoughts, emotions and sensations. It can also be outwardly focused on our interactions with others in the world around us. We don’t stop to be mindful, but rather incorporate it into our everyday lives.

‘Mindfulness is the capacity to be present where we are. To see it with clarity and a sense of graciousness. Without judgement or without wanting to change it.’

Jack Cornfield

To describe it further, here are five ways to think about mindfulness

1. It’s a way to wholeness – connecting body and mind.

Have you ever been so busy and distracted that you barely take in your surroundings. You know you are moving about but you have little sense of where your body is in space. Living life on autopilot. Often times you are deep in thought, navigating life from the neck up. Planning your next move or dissecting an interaction or memory from the past.

Body awareness practices such as scanning and methodically relaxing parts of your body or deliberately grounding your steps while walking help to integrate your body with your mind. Giving your brain and body’s nervous system a sense of connectedness.

2. It’s a way of being in this world:

Mindfulness can be incorporated into our everyday personal routines. For example, when we are eating, cleaning our teeth or brushing our hair. Focusing on the senses and savouring the experience allows us to be more focused and attentive.

We can also use mindfulness in our interactions in the world. Rather than being reactive to what others do and say, we can observe and acknowledge their emotions and our bodily responses for what they are. Then we have the potential to give ourselves breathing space and separateness to act with empathy and loving kindness.

‘To sustain mindfulness and stay present in what arises, it helps to find refuge’.

Dr Rick Hanson

I like the idea of finding refuge. A comforting, nurturing and protected physical or mental space to be drawn back into when we need it. It can also be a space to come out of so we can navigate the world from a calm base. The refuge we choose can be a particular person, a group of people who support and care about us, an activity, practice, idea, teaching or wisdom we live by. It becomes part of who we are as we move mindfully through our lives.

3. It trains our attention

We have evolved to be skittish. To scan our environments for multiple possibilities of danger in order to survive. While that worked well for us when hunting and gathering among the beasts it has a more debilitating effect on us in our modern lives. Although we all have different attention spans, a common problem is being easily distracted, environmentally stressed and finding it difficult to focus on one task at a time.

For more active bodies it may be helpful to incorporate movements such as yoga, tai chi or slow dance movements before settling into mindfulness and meditation activities. For those with a more active mind, a loving-kindness meditation where you bring to mind 10-15 people one after the other or creating a gratitude list can be useful tasks.

4. It helps us deal with trauma

Whether its physical or mental pain that we are dealing with, focusing directly on the pain or trauma is difficult. What can be helpful is firstly to focus away from the pain toward a foundation of well-being. One where you feel a sense of safety and belonging. Bringing to mind those who’ve cared for and nurtured you. Keeping in the forefront of your mind the good experiences in your life. Then slowly go into the trauma. After a while saying, ‘that is enough for now’ allowing yourself to leave it in place, while you continue with life and nurturing your well-being again. By making this a gradual and mindful process it’s possible to build emotional strength to deal with what arises.

With physical pain we can acknowledge its presence. Soothing and calming ourselves as if we were responding to a crying baby. Giving this loving awareness may help to soften the physical sensations, thoughts and emotions.

5. It is the gateway to positive qualities.

We need more than mindfulness. Having awareness is one thing but we also need a way to deal with what arises in the mind. It takes effort to be both mindfully aware and live practically in the world. A world where we have schedules and expectations to pay our bills and fill various roles. Yet in reality we are much more than our bank account balance or rigid notion of our identity. We have the potential to expand who we are and be less reactive to what happens to us. With mindful awareness we can build positive qualities such as confidence, ease, graciousness, joy, well-being, modesty, flexibility and clarity.

The next time you catch yourself in a distracted or reactive mode take a mindful pause. Take several deep breaths and notice what’s happening with your body. Feel where your feet meet the ground and tune into the sights and sounds around you. Each small moment of focused awareness is being registered in your brain. Ongoing practice will bring lasting benefits from being more mindful.

November 2024
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