I recently attended a workshop led by a woman, for a group of women. As she progressed through her talk she paused briefly. Once she was composed she explained to the group that she had just experienced a hot flush. It subsided and she was able to continue her presentation. In that moment, it was wonderful to experience the public acknowledgement of something that previously would have been masked and silently endured.
At the end of the workshop, it was question time. A lady in the rear of the room rose from her chair and with animated speech assured others that one day menopause would be a memory and the glorious time of post menopause would emerge. There were nods of hope and recognition in the words she was saying. Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel called post-menopause.
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Menopause is spoken more about now. Previously a misunderstood yet natural stage of women’s lives. Perimenopause proceeds it, as cycles become irregular signalling the latter years of reproduction. Menopause arrives as the cessation of monthly menstruation. It can also herald a range of symptoms that can impact a woman’s physical, mental and emotional well-being. Post Menopause is the time when the symptoms of menopause subside. Women at this time can experience a freedom perhaps akin to pre-puberty. Their bodies are definitely not pre-pubescent, but there is a sense of liberation from the reproductive hormones and menstrual cycle. For most of us that journey from puberty to menopause has been around four decades.
So many women I’ve talked to see menopause as an ending. But I’ve discovered this is your moment to reinvent yourself after years of focusing on the needs of everyone else.
Oprah Winfrey
I wonder if menopause is not unlike the process of labour as we delivered our babies. Seemingly feeling our bodies go out of our control as symptoms arise and fall, just like labour pains. Yet we are in a process of transformation. Extending this analogy, Perimenopause can feel somewhat like pregnancy. A time of preparation. Pregnancy as preparation for motherhood. Perimenopause as preparation to step away from our reproductive years. We know within our bodies things are different from before. It is a time that comes with its own awakening awareness, bodily symptoms and emotions.
For some women, the journey of being a woman is fairly straight forward. They have a reasonably easy time falling pregnant, a healthy and relatively symptom free pregnancy and straightforward labour and delivery of their baby. For others, being a woman is more challenging. Labour may be a prolonged and painful experience that thankfully subsides once their baby arrives. Some women breeze through the last of their reproductive years. For others perimenopause and menopause can be a challenge bringing on symptoms that at times can be debilitating and affect their daily lives. Each individual woman’s experience is unique.
Whether you are experiencing the birth process (pregnancy, labour and delivery) or the menopause process (perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause) remember to be kind to yourself. Reach for the support of others – those professionals in women’s health and those going through a similar time of life. Share what works for you. Help others understand your experience. Also know that you and your body will move forward into the next stage of your journey as a woman.
For the woman who has given birth it’s the beginning of a journey of unconditional love. It has its joys and its struggles. Changing your dynamic as a woman in all areas of your life. For the post-menopausal woman it can be a journey back to yourself. Shedding some of the responsibilities of life and having the flexibility to pursue what you enjoy. It’s a time of getting reacquainted with your identity and life experience with wisdom, acceptance and self-love.
Being a woman really needs to be a shared journey with other women. Witnessing each other’s highs and lows with active support and encouragement. It’s common for us to hear ‘It takes a village to raise a child’. Perhaps we can also add ‘It takes a village to raise a woman’. Having a tribe who will help her through each of the stages of her life.