I really enjoy my Sundays. I see it as my self-care day. A time to nurture my body with a relaxing bath and pamper. Perhaps read a book or listen to an informative podcast. Ponder the week’s theme and schedule discussion posts for the Healing the Matriarch Community Private Facebook Group. It’s also an opportunity to check my diary for what’s planned for the coming week.
If I am at home, I also love to head to our nearby beach to meet up with a local women’s group – Port Macquarie Women Connect. Our logo depicts our beautiful coastal environment. Our motto, which signifies our group’s purpose, is ‘Empowered Women’. The full affirmation is ‘Empowered Women, Empower Women”. The first part speaks to the group as ‘empowered’ women and describes both the emerging and present characteristics of each individual and collectively what we are striving for as a group. The second part ‘empower’ women is a call to our purpose and the actions that surround it.
We gather to support each other’s connection needs, mental health and overall well-being. I tell these women that I adore our group. It meets all of these core needs and is a diverse cross-section of our community. There are women of different ages, life stages and backgrounds. Each woman has her own life experiences that can be shared within the group. There is no pressure to attend each week or to contribute in any detail as we walk alongside each other or sit together afterwards.
Footprints of Connection
Early morning we meet and briefly introduce ourselves by name. After an acknowledgement to country the group wanders down onto the sand and individuals begin chatting with each other. Small groups of women naturally form as we walk and talk along the beach until finally we reach our designated turning point. Once there, a joyous group photo is taken and then we walk back to our starting point to have a coffee and chat near the surf club. Our group is becoming known within our community. Observers notice the picnic rugs, upturned crates for seats and scattered cushions that signify our makeshift shared space. We have a sign and flag to identify who we are.
As the sister group of the local men’s group Self Seen, we’ve formed a special yet distinctly separate partnership to support our local communities. In addition to the weekly beach walks there is a monthly Women’s Night, women’s retreats and also informal get togethers for dinners, movie nights and other social outings. Each meetup gives an opportunity to become both individually empowered and collectively empower each other.
Women – love each other, support each other, defend each other. It comes at a greater cost to attack the women around you than it does to empower them
Caitlin Stasey.
So what does Empowerment mean?
To understand the essence of the group requires a deeper delving into the meaning of empowerment. The Oxford dictionary definition is ‘the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling our life and advocating for ourselves’. It is also about getting the support we need from others to feel respected and heard. To feel a real sense of true belonging in our connection with ourselves, in our close relationships, when we are part of social groups and finally more broadly in the community we live in.
Where do we start with feeling empowered?
Feeling a sense of empowerment begins within ourselves. It is not until we understand our own identity and unique needs that we can connect fully with others.
It’s being happy in our own skin at whatever time of life we find ourselves. Accepting our strengths and challenges as part of who we are. Creating healthy invisible boundaries around ourselves that honour our own priorities and needs. Taking the time to pause and consider the myriad of options before us – activities to be involved in, connections to foster or maintain, commitments to prioritize. Seeing each of them through the lens of benefit to ourselves or part of our current personal priority.
It also about being self-focused, without being self-centred. Honouring our own self-care – physically, emotionally and mentally. Giving ourselves self-compassion when we are struggling with life. Building self-confidence and belief we are valuable and have a place within each of our connections.
Empowerment is also about building strong, authentic connections between people. Respecting other’s perspectives and stories as they share them with us. Keeping details of conversations confidential to build each other’s trust. Taking the time to observe and listen equally as much as we talk. Knowing that much of our communication is not spoken. It’s observed in the other person’s body gestures and posture.
In life, we begin this empowerment journey by continually knowing ourselves. Our personalities, priorities, likes and dislikes, what drives our passion and purpose. Knowledge is powerful and it’s a lifelong education.
Empowering ourselves is also foundational for really connecting with others. Radiating our influence in widening circles from primary relationships such as with our partner, family and close social circle outward to our acquaintances and wider community. As each of us feels more personally empowered we become more capable of empowering and supporting others. Equally, belonging to a positively empowered group of women helps to nurture each of us individually.
