While many people are preparing for a full on traditional family Christmas this year, others are craving a low key approach to the coming days. The mental exhaustion associated with emerging post – Covid into a changed world is leading us to re-evaluate our planning, honour our needs and make decisions accordingly.
Advertising started early for gift buying and as the day approaches the last minute shoppers and food purchasers are filling our shopping centres to the brim. Roads and airports are busy transitioning people to their family and holiday destinations.
In the hectic lead up to Christmas have we lost a true sense of what we are celebrating? Putting pressure on ourselves to deliver the perfect gift giving, meals and experience for each other. In the process stretching ourselves physically, emotionally and financially. Perhaps its time to take a calmer and more considered approach to the festive season using each letter of the word Christmas.
Choice – If possible, consciously take the festive season at a slower pace. Counter the consumerism with more thoughtfully planned gift and food purchasing. As the day approaches maintain your daily self-care and rest so that you are not overwhelmed by the day itself. Don’t feel pressured to do Christmas a certain way. Make choices based on your own energy level and desire for socializing and interaction. Some years you may feel motivated to host a large Christmas gathering with all the trimming while other years you may feel happier for a more intimate experience with your immediate family or partner. Choosing low key options for food, gifts and activities. Do what is best for you at the time.
History – This time of year is one that stimulates our memories of past Christmas celebrations. There may be traditions you want to honour that date back to your childhood. The strong emotional memories of past Christmases serve as comparisons for what you currently experience. Take what is valuable and cherished and make these the centrepiece of this year. It can also be a time of creating new traditions and ways of doing things. Change is inevitable as children grow up and create their own celebrations. Marrying into families with different traditions and creating new ones with their own children. Christmas is also a time that highlights the absence of family members who are no longer with us to celebrate. Allow yourself to feel the sadness of this loss. Create rituals to include them – photos, a lit candle, a vase of their favourite flowers. Speak about them and the memories you created with them around Christmas.
Reunion – Christmas is often a time where we gather with family who we don’t necessarily see during the year. Allow for the different personalities and needs of individuals. Feel able to ask for help with physical tasks such as meal preparation to avoid feeling overwhelmed as a host. Step back from creating too much expectation about the day. Large gatherings inevitably create mess so trying to keep a picture perfect setting amongst the activity can create anxiety. Accept what unfolds and deal with the clean up by sharing the load or relegating clean up to later.
‘I’ – Women particularly can take on the role of Christmas co-ordination. Our giving and nurturing nature can mean we invest an incredible amount of energy into Christmas. Recognize when you need to step back and take a break from activities. Take time to replenish yourself both physically and emotionally. Create a Christmas that truly reflects you.
Senses – Christmas is a truly sensory experience. The sight of a decorated Christmas tree and table. The sounds of festive music, laughter and conversation. The smells and tastes of home cooking. Savour these sensory experiences. Take photos and videos and particularly make sure you are also in them. These will be tangible reminders of you for your family in the years ahead. Be aware, particularly with younger children, that their senses can quickly be overloaded with all the activity. Find quiet spaces and activities for them to retreat to. That may also apply to the grownups as well.
Time – We can have so much planned for Christmas Day that we forget to enjoy it. Loosen expectation around what ‘should’ happen and when. If food preparation and sitting down together takes longer allow yourself to go with the flow. A meal made with love has its own timing. Try not to plan too much for the day to allow everyone to savour the moments and conversations.
Money – The festive season is often a time when we extend ourselves financially. Not only in paying our normal bills but in gift buying, travel, holidays and food. Be mindful of spending and ease the burden for others with donations to charities and offering gift cards to help with buying groceries and other needs for Christmas Day. If you have a large gathering ask others attending to contribute financially or with parts of the meal.
Abundance – For most of us we live in a world with ample physical abundance. There is very little we want for. Perhaps this Christmas can be less about the physical ‘things’ and more about our emotional experience. Lets have an abundance of time, connection, happiness, relaxation, peace and yes even sleep. These things hold greater value as we celebrate Christmas.
Spirituality – Remember the ‘reason behind this season’. If you are of Christian faith it is the birth of Jesus Christ that is central to your celebration. The wider themes of generosity and service to others can also be our focus at this time of year.
May this Christmas be all that you hope for. A true representation of who you are and a time of creating wonderful memories.
