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Archives for May 2021

The Old and Young Connecting

May 5, 2021 by JanSmith

I, like many others, have just finished watching Series 2 of Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds on Australia’s ABC television network. The series depicted the interactions of an intergenerational social experiment. Each day over six weeks, a group of elderly, who live alone in their homes, were bused to a purpose-built pre-school venue situated in a coastal suburb of Sydney. There they met up with a group of four-year-old children under the guidance of a multi-disciplinary team of early childhood teachers, psychologists, and geriatric specialists.

It was a delight to watch the connections blossom between the generations as they explored play-based activities together. Kite flying, dressing up, tea parties, painting, dance, games and excursions into the community were among the fun things planned. Laughter, tears, and plenty of cuddles were shared. The meaning and questions of life were pondered across the generations.

At the conclusion of the experiment major benefits were identified. For the older participants mobility and life satisfaction had improved. New connections had been formed with their fellow participants, the children, and their families. For the four-year-olds, there were particular benefits with pro- social skills. These skills include awareness of the emotions of others, helping skills and empathy. For the families it was the beginning of a bond between each of the elder/pre-schooler natural pairings that we all hope continues beyond the series.

‘We didn’t give them (the elderly) antidepressants we gave them interaction with children’.

Series 2 promotional video

As I watched the series I wondered what life would be like for us if we reach the eighth and ninth decades of our lives. Each programme gave much to ponder: –

Where will we be living and will that be with a partner or alone by that time in our lives?  

What will be the ramifications in regards to loneliness and depression?

Will we have a suitable level of mobility and good health if we choose to live independently?

Will we be able to effectively execute our daily tasks?

What connections will we have with our family and the community late in life?

How satisfied will we be with our lives?

I am at the end of the Baby Boomer generation and there will be a fairly large cohort of us reaching the later years in several decades time. I am hoping there is enough pre-schoolers and their families around to connect with us. My own grandchildren will be all grown up by then. Perhaps there will be great grandchildren to have wonderful, fun filled times with. If not, hopefully the multigenerational pre-school model may have taken off and be available in all our communities.

It will take development of a new sub model of service delivery for both the pre-school and age care sectors. Traditionally these two stages of life have sat like silos in society. Disconnected and therefore missing out on the benefits of integrating these care settings.

There will need to be a range of considerations to expand the existing model.

*Those who train prospective employees in the early childhood and aged care sectors will need to create specialized teaching units on each other’s specialty within their tertiary courses.

* It will require a multi-disciplinary approach as early childhood teachers, parents, psychologists, age care professionals and geriatric specialists create a team around this special elder/child relationship.

* Ongoing research should measure the effectiveness and benefits of an intergenerational preschool model.

* Venues and activities need to be carefully planned for and professionally supervised to maintain safety and enhance the benefits.

* Funding models will need to change to incorporate the integration of traditional funding with this new innovation. This will require a streamlined approach at government level. Currently both state and federal governments have responsibility in these sectors.

I am excited about intergenerational models within our communities. I am sure others who enjoyed and embraced the series are too. I hope by the time I am an elder these intergenerational preschools will exist widely in our communities. We will all be able to sign up for a fun filled, purposeful day of connection together.

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Draw Her Wings – Motherloss Awareness Week 2021

May 1, 2021 by JanSmith

Mother’s Day 2021 is drawing near. The emails and promotional pamphlets have been circulating. Retail promotions and venues are once again gearing up for another marketing opportunity. Yet this time is an uncomfortable one for a large proportion of women.

For me, like countless others, Mother’s Day has become a time of reflection and at times sadness and regret for what could have been. My mother received her heavenly wings forty years ago. She was fifty-two years old; I was twenty-two and my younger sister only seventeen.

At the time she received a late diagnosis of bowel cancer. A disease that was not really understood at the time. Many of her symptoms were put down to menopause and were not thoroughly investigated until it was too late to act. My sister and I are among the millions of Australian women who have suffered motherloss and also among the unenviable subset of 1.2 million women who have lost their mums before the age of 44.

‘There are 3.7 Million women in Australia who have lost their mum. That’s millions who have lost the deep connection shared only between a mother and daughter.’

Motherless Daughters Australia.
Photo by Veit Hammer on Unsplash

There are so many occasions in my life where her absence was felt. The day I was married, the pregnancies and births of my two children and seeing my children grow into adults and begin to raise their own families. Even the opportunity to seek her opinion or cry on her shoulder when things got tough was denied. Oh for five minutes again with her on the earthly side.

It is difficult for motherless daughters to share the pain and grief they feel with others. Particularly when all around them they see mothers and their daughters enjoying life experiences together. Thankfully, a wonderful organisation, Motherless Daughters Australia, has provided a platform for support and awareness. Their website and public Facebook page provide valuable assistance when it is needed. Events are organised and general awareness promoted.

This week, May 2 – 8, is Motherloss Awareness Week. A time to let the community know it can be a difficult one for motherless daughters. Yet the loss of our mothers continues to be felt throughout the year. Motherless Daughters are being encouraged to Draw Her Wings in a variety of creative ways and post them to their social media platforms. The week begins with several Pre-Mother’s Day High Tea events in several of our capital cities. A time when women can come together to remember their mothers and share their stories. I will be attending the Canberra event.

For me, it will signal a time to begin rituals that will honour the brief time together that my mum and I had in this life. I will be bringing flowers and spending time at her grave and that of my nanna. There will also be time for me to celebrate my own role as a mother and grandmother with my adult children and grandchildren. That is incredibly special. It’s also a symbolic connecting of my matriarchal line.

From a time of sorrow can come a time of deep reflection and gratitude. I feel blessed to have come across the Motherless Daughters Australia organisation. Daily we can share our struggles and remembrance within a private Facebook group. We have opportunities to connect with one another online and in person. Each of us have been invited to take on the role of a motherless daughter’s ambassador creating a meaningful outlet and purpose from our lived experience.

Within our communities are countless women who will hold up the memory of their heavenly mothers this Mother’s Day. If that is you, go ahead, Draw Her Wings, and fondly recall your relationship together.

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