The concept of perfect timing has its wisdom and pitfalls. In life we recognize the years around our twenties as crucial for commencing a career, marrying, and having children. There is societal expectation to leave the security of our childhood and head independently into the world. We desire finding someone to share our life with and perhaps settle down and start a family. As humans, we are biologically at our peak at this time to cross these milestones off our list. Yet the actual timing of these events in our own lives may be quite different from the norm.
Creating perfect timing continues to play a part later in our lives. As we come to our 50’s and 60’s we are faced with the question of when to retire from paid work. Do we travel and explore the world? Is it perhaps time to take the opportunity to downsize into a smaller home or move location when our families reduce in size?
It is often with hindsight that we learn more about whether our timing in life was perfect. Parenthood is a prime example and rarely goes according to our desired plans. The reality of starting early in life with a brood of children may be perfect for one couple yet viewed with regret by another. Looking back on life these couples, or perhaps one partner in particular, may feel they needed further time prior to parenthood and regret opportunities they feel they missed. For other couples, the journey to parenthood takes longer. When it becomes a reality, it can be met with a long-anticipated sense of joy and personal fulfillment. Alternatively, it can come as a shock and be viewed with trepidation around parenting at an older age.
“Life is a lively process of becoming”.
Douglas MacArthur
With careers, some people find a vocation early in life and see a pathway ahead that opens with opportunities. They stay in the same workplace or profession their entire work life. Others are uncertain what occupation they are attracted to and may oscillate between workplaces and areas of interest in search of what they feel is meaningful work. It is not unusual for people to have various professions across their work life. Some may be due to redundancies and other issues outside their control. At other times it is a dissatisfaction with their current situation and career choice that motivates a change.
The longer the viewpoint we have of our lives the more we have the opportunity to see the patterns of its timing. We can look back at times when we danced between action and inaction. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to change our life circumstances when things were not quite aligned. In retrospect we sometimes see the missed opportunity, the ‘one that got away’ because we lacked the courage to act by procrastinating. At other times we see the wisdom of a missed opportunity where initially we may have been upset and disappointed. Later we find either a better alternative emerges or our lives take a different direction and the original opportunity shows us it was unsuitable.
Ideal circumstances don’t necessarily need to be in place for perfect timing. It is often at the painful times or moments of crisis in our lives that we are motivated to make substantial change. Depending on the circumstance it can be a time of learning the greatest life lessons about ourselves and others. It can also be a time of gaining clarity around what is most important to us in our lives. Without these moments of growth, we may continue to stagnate in life, not truly stepping into creating a life that we enjoy living.
For me, it has taken a reckoning of my own life to achieve what feels like perfect timing. I enjoyed both my career as a teacher and my role as a mother. Beyond the active energy of these roles, I now see a true sense of personal independence and wisdom gathering emerging. It took time and inner reflection for me to step boldly into this phase of my life, but I love it.
Social isolation during the current pandemic provided the catalyst for bringing my perfect timing and life lessons together. My desire is to encourage other women to create their own unique paths in life and emerge confidently into their Wise Woman and Matriarch identities.
