Imagine you were able to hold the book of your own life in your hands. It has a unique cover that clearly depicts the colours, textures and words of your existence. The chapters within symbolize you and your life journey. The title of the book would represent why you are here. The pages within give the context for what you have come here to learn, create and share with others.
Each chapter is unique. It has its own title that encompasses a specific period or event in your life. Some of the chapters are filled with happy moments and others you would rather cross out sentences or tear out pages. If not, you would dearly love to rewrite them from a new perspective.
The story has paused just at this moment in time where you currently inhabit. The person you see in front of you has lived the chapters before and is a representation of the culmination of all those life experiences that are uniquely yours. The past has informed who you are, yet each day is the opportunity to write a new part of your story.
Our stories are carried in our bodies. They come to us from our earliest recollections as the processing of events in our lives. They are our perceptions of the world and come delicately attached with emotional energy and memory. Our earliest stories are often written within family, our first teachers. Beyond are the cultural and community influences that shape our view of the world.
Each time we retell the story of something that has happened in our lives it is delicately edited. Surprisingly as we tell some tales of life the emotional memory surges through in a deep well of love, hurt or grief that springs from our heart, or tears that drop from our eyes. At the time we may be surprised with the vividness of our emotional response. It does not seem to matter if the event was long ago, the emotions can vividly resurface.
On each telling the story transforms anew. Parts of our recall from the moment of experience remain, while other parts become embellishments of deeper understanding framed from our life experience. We may feel the need to retell the story many times to gain further clarity or to change our perception. When a story keeps us stuck in a moment in time, we need a prompt to search for alternate memories to balance our recall and strengthen resolve to move forward. If our story is part of a larger picture it needs the validation of others for this to happen. As we hold the collective stories of struggle, hurt and grief we give each other the opportunity to recalibrate earlier chapters of our life journey.
How wonderful it is to hear each other’s stories. There are benefits for both the speaker and listener. For the speaker it is an opportunity to take what is in their mind and body – our thoughts and feelings and process them aloud. It is also the opportunity to be validated and receive insights from others. For the listener, it is an opportunity to know the speaker beyond the surface of everyday conversation. We may get the chance to understand and appreciate their underlying perspective.
If we wish to know about a man, we ask ‘What is his story, his real, inmost story? – for each of us is a biography, a story
Oliver Sacks – The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat.
Words are powerful. When they remain within us as ruminating thoughts, they have the potential to harm us. The anxiety and depression that we feel often comes from the shame of not wanting to burden others with our inner world. Yet if we can break through the insecurities of shame, we may find that as we speak up, we are heard and understood. Even if our experience feels unique to us when we share it with others, we find they can often relate in some way. We each hold stories of love, loss and belonging.
There is something unique about telling our story. To speak our journey with each other is more powerful than reading the biographical words on a page. In the retelling of our life experience we continually re-frame who we are and why our lives matter. The stories of our lives remain lovingly imperfect. We ‘rewrite’ them each time we retell them. A beautiful opportunity to process our past and newly inform our future.
