Life has been turned upside down recently. Not just for some but for all of us. The daily activities we enjoyed and the people we connected with are no longer available to us. Our travel has been restricted or non-existent. The sports and cultural events we previously enjoyed are now in recess. We have hit a pause button as the world awaits a solution to the current pandemic.
As each day dawns it feels like Groundhog Day. Another day of social isolation, heightened hygiene measures and prolonged uncertainty. Much of life has changed so quickly that it is now quite difficult to remember the carefree pre-virus days. As much as we try to control and make sense of current events we live in a messy, emotional, and discomforting uncertainty. We can get wrapped up in our thoughts and find our minds spinning in circles looking for solutions. Is it time to surrender to accepting what is, rather than striving to manage what is beyond our control?
Here are some areas you might be trying to control:-
- Moving forward with work in a changing economy. One-week life seemed so stable with a workplace and steady wage paying mortgages and bills. The next week may have meant upheaval and change – working from home amidst family or facing unseen redundancy.
- Maintaining a business and putting in strategies toward its survival.
- The need for high grade hygiene practices in environments that once were more relaxed.
- Helping an elderly parent navigate isolation from loved ones or family members to find the right treatment for medical conditions.
- Amid the pandemic finding the ‘right path’ for a loved one who is dying and finding safe ways to celebrate their lives.
American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the following prayer. His poignant words point to knowing the difference between having courage to change what is possible while also being able to accept and surrender to what we are unable to change. We have limited control over our current world circumstances, yet we can choose how we respond.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things that cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
What does surrender or acceptance look like?
It may be temporarily letting go of the need to be someone or to be somewhere you are not. Pre-pandemic days may have been filled with plans. Plans to travel and spend time in warmer climates. Plans to relocate, expand a business, or begin a new life direction. The experiences we so longed for may be temporarily unavailable.
I know I have spent the last few years of my life on a journey of inner growth and understanding. This new sense of self has allowed me to dream of new, more authentic ways of being in the world and creating a legacy. While I am quietly working away at the possibilities at home, I am also feeling the limits of my energy and coping ability right now. I love this person I have become but I want to nurture her. I know I need to find the balance between focusing on what I plan to achieve and rest.
What do you gain from surrendering to your current life situation?
A chance to give yourself respite from daily concerns. This includes letting go of expectations of what you should be doing. These expectations may have been fine under different circumstances. Now wisdom needs to step in as you acknowledge that you have achieved all you need right now.
Loving yourself enough to know your limits. This has been an insight for me lately. I have always been confident in my creative ability. What I am finding challenging is the technology side of new skills I am learning. I am blown away with what I have been able to accomplish recently, particularly with less face to face guidance. Yet also finding that my head is spinning with new information and I feel totally out of my depth with some tasks.
Show self-compassion and gentleness with yourself. The current time is tough for many and it is important to slow down and relax more often. This allows your mind, body and spirit the time it needs to re energize and heal.
Our current times are uncertain, and we are feeling a host of emotions as we navigate each day. Perhaps taking a break from constant striving may help each of us to find our answers and a deeper sense of inner peace.